40-ish................................49.

Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.

Athletic...............................No breasts.

Average looking....................Moooo.

Beautiful............................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure................On Medication.

Feminist................................Fat.

Free spirit............................ Junkie.

Friendship first......................Former slut.

New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.

Open-minded.......................Desperate.

Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional..........................Bitch.

Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.

Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.

Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.


[u][b]Women's English[/b][/u]

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive. Is sex all you ever think about?


[u][b]Men's English[/b][/u]

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.



11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay!

so true

So good i am telling girlfriend over the phone. Brilliant.

Dead right Ally!