15th April, 2003

In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the
government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim
measure, carry out military operations in Iraq.

The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their
job has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action
next Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime.
It is understood that they will spend their time standing around little
bonfires, rubbing their hands together and waving at passing vehicles who
honk their horns at them.

Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing
tea and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front
line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks,they
will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into
surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.

Prime Minister Tony Blair has already stated that the Fire Service
strike of last year proved that a vastly undermanned service with limited
training and unsuitable equipment can perform the duties of a well-trained,
well-equipped and well-manned professional force equally as efficiently
and without loss of life.

When it was pointed out to him that the bright red fire engines might
make an easy target for enemy fire, Mr. Blair said, "Never mind, we've got
too many firemen as it is... er, is that camera running?"

Asked for his comment, Britain's partner in the coalition in the war
against Iraq, US President George W. Bush, said "Ooh, can I have a go on
the siren?"

dont frget nipping back into the base to use the toilet, kettle, check if they can see themselves on Sky News etc.


I thought they were on strike?

the ones I saw spent more time in the station than they did during their shift

Nice one Tony