No need to worry about a war now people as Assama Bed Linen has hidden all of our boots! We're only 20,000 pairs short and don't forget the 80,000 uniforms. Mind you who needs boots on a nice sandy beach? Has Matt got a secret supply?

This is many years ago when McMillan was Prime Minister. I was fresh from National Service and being in the Pay Corps I hardly wore my army boots. I kept them and on joining the Met Police I was sent from Cannon Row to guard the rear of 10 Downing Street. It was very cold and I wore 2 pairs of socks and also my well studded army boots. Mrs Mcmillan complained to my superintendent that during the night my constant walking up and down the gravel on what is Horse Guards Parade was keeping her and the PM awake! I was then assigned to Trafalgar Square.