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Gord
998,916
peter026
998,915


24 hours in a day ...24 beers in a case ...coincidence
sparkystav
998,914
peter026
998,913

was in the pub yesterday, and i saw Vincent Van Gogh in the corner.

I called him over and asked him if he fancied a drink, to which he replied. 'no thanks, I've got one ear!'.....
sparkystav
998,912
peter026
999,911


A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gives her one.
P4UL T
998,910
peter026
998,909

What did the Blue Peter presenter say when (s)he was introducing the winner of their 'phone-in' competition?
"Here's one we prepared earlier"!
sparkystav
998,908
P4UL T
998,907
peter026
998,906

Q.) Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for the dinner party??

A.) He was given the cold shoulder!
P4UL T
998,905
peter026
998,904

went to a cannibal's party last night.

I had a ball.
Gord
998,903
peter026
998,902

A group of chess players were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Gord
998.901
peter026
998,900

I was on the motorway and i saw two packets of crisps and i stopped and said do you want a lift, they said no thanks we are walkers!
Gord
998,899
peter026
998,898


Q - Why do french people eat snails?

A - Because they dont like fast food
sparkystav
998,897
peter026
998,896

Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's
"Well you can't say fairer than that then"
Gord
998,895
peter026
998,894

What is a mixed feeling?

Watching your mother-in-law reverse off the side of a cliff in your brand new car!
Gord
998,893
peter026
998,892

Apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBreast will cost £499 to £599.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Gord
998,891
peter026
998,890

What do you give a sick budgie?

Tweetment.
sparkystav
998,889
peter026
998,888

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Gord
998,887
peter026
998,886


"Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush."
Gord
998,885
peter026
998,884

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Gord
998,883
peter026
998,882

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Gord
998,881
peter026
989,880


Two blonds were driving to disneyland for a holiday, they come to a fork in the road and a sign says:
"Disneyland Left"
so they turned around and went home.
sparkystav
998,879
Gord
998,878
sparkystav
998,877
aztecbandit1
998,876
sparkystav
998,875
aztecbandit1
999,874
NCC_1701_C
999,873
Gord
998,872
sparkystav
998,871
Einstein
998,870
Unregistered_User
998,869
TURNER
998,868
sparkystav
998,867
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