999,951
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man who shot my paw."
Full Version: Game: Count Down From 1 Million
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999,950
999,949
999,948
999,947
999,946
999,945
999,944
999,943
Chinese Proverb : - Man Going Through Turnstyle Sideways Going To Bangkonk
Chinese Proverb : - Man Going Through Turnstyle Sideways Going To Bangkonk
999,942
"I went into this pub and ate a ploughman's lunch, he was livid."
"I went into this pub and ate a ploughman's lunch, he was livid."
999,941
Chinese Proverb : - Man Walking Behind Car Going To Get Exhausted
Chinese Proverb : - Man Walking Behind Car Going To Get Exhausted
999,940 
999,939
999,938
999,937
Fella fancies a girl in the office but she has a boyfriend. He approaches her anyway & offers her £1000 if she will have sex with him. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and i'll be finished by the time you pick it up. Girl consults her boyfriend. He advises her to go for it but to pick it up real fast so he dont have a chance! An hour later he calls to ask whats going on. She replies.. the Ba%^ard used coins
Fella fancies a girl in the office but she has a boyfriend. He approaches her anyway & offers her £1000 if she will have sex with him. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and i'll be finished by the time you pick it up. Girl consults her boyfriend. He advises her to go for it but to pick it up real fast so he dont have a chance! An hour later he calls to ask whats going on. She replies.. the Ba%^ard used coins
999,936
999,935
once went on a garlic diet... lost 6 stone and 6 mates
once went on a garlic diet... lost 6 stone and 6 mates
999,934
999,933
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
999,932
999,931
999,930
999,929
999,928
999,927
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
999,926
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
999,925
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that *** doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that *** doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
999,924
"In spite of the cost of living, its still popular"
"In spite of the cost of living, its still popular"
999,923
999,922
Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
999,921
999,920
"my uncle died of asbestos poisoning - took a long time to cremate him"
"my uncle died of asbestos poisoning - took a long time to cremate him"
999,919
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
999,918
999,917
a man fell into a upholstery machine,hes now fully recoverd
a man fell into a upholstery machine,hes now fully recoverd
999,916
"Brevitiy is the ..."
"Brevitiy is the ..."
999,915
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
999,914
No computer has any awarenes of what it does - so abuse it.
No computer has any awarenes of what it does - so abuse it.
999,913
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
999,912
Ducks walking along the road. 2 in front, 2 behind, 1 in the middle. How many ducks?
Ducks walking along the road. 2 in front, 2 behind, 1 in the middle. How many ducks?
Three, 
999,911
You are in a running race, coming up to the line you finally catch and overtake second place. What colour medal do you get?
999,911
You are in a running race, coming up to the line you finally catch and overtake second place. What colour medal do you get?
999,910
Silver. 2 coins add up to 30p.. One of these cannot be a 20p piece. What 2 coins?
Silver. 2 coins add up to 30p.. One of these cannot be a 20p piece. What 2 coins?
999,909
a 20p and a 10p
999,908
999,908
99907
The future starts NOW.
The future starts NOW.
[quote name='oldcro' post='484156' date='Nov 9 2007, 09:16 PM']99907
The future starts NOW.[/quote]
missed a 9.
999,906
The future starts NOW.[/quote]
missed a 9.
999,906
999,905
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
999,904
Only another 999,903 posts to go...
Only another 999,903 posts to go...
999,903
A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me £50, but if I cannot, I will pay you £50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man £50. How did the man win the bet?
A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me £50, but if I cannot, I will pay you £50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man £50. How did the man win the bet?
At this rate, the 1,000,000 post will be on Sunday 22nd April 2012 at 16.41 hrs.
999,902
999,902
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