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President Bush


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George W Bush

The White House, USA



I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the

influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's

license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and

is not available.


I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a

drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas

Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.


I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a



I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in

Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any


in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I

bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land

using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including

Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.


I changed Texas pollution laws to favour power and oil companies, making

Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in

borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American

history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my

father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after


by over 500,000 votes.


I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal

record. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S.

Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S.


I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any


period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month

period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of


U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and

that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet

are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest

millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most

corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor,


one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate

bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History-Enron

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to

assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation

or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica

Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest

corporate rip-offs in history....... OMG....

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to

intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the

U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government

contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any

President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in

the history of the United States government. I've broken more


treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove

the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the

World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S.


of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva


I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election

inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest

number of press conferences of any President since the advent of


I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year

period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the

worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center

attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in

the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously

protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for

protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty

benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time. I cut

the defense budget by not providing frontline soldiers with enough

bullet-proof vests.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking

Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%)

view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.


All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's

library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC

investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are


in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from

meetings that I, or my Vice-president, attended regarding public energy

policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

I have only lost: Osama bin Ladin, Mullah Omar, countless other members of

Al Qaeda, Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction, all the looted

material in Iraq, millions of jobs in America, The entire U.S. government

surplus AND.....

The respect of the rest of the Free World



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