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Joke


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HSBC Bank plc is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate

procedure for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use our new machines for the first time.

PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS.

1. Drive up to the cash machine

.2. Wind down your car window.

3. Insert card into the machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Wind up window.

7. Drive off.

PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS.

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Reverse back the required distance to align car window with the cash machine.

3. Restart the stalled engine.

4 . Wind down the window.

5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat and locate card.

6. Turn the radio down.

7. Attempt to insert card.

8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to it's excessive distance from the car.

9. Insert card.

10. Re-insert card the right way up.

11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on inside back page.

12. Enter PIN.

13. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.

14. Enter amount of cash required.

15. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

16. Retrieve cash and receipt.

17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.

19. Re-check makeup.

20. Drive forward 2 metres.

21. Reverse back to cash machine.

22. Retrieve card.

23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.

25. Drive for 2 or 3 miles.

26. Release handbrake. :driving:

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