Jokes

[Col Wilk]

Not sure if I'm on the right topic here, but I've got a Rattle & Hum coming from the boot of my 350H.....

[deltapapa]

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar, and the barman says "Not U2 again".

[Las Palmas]

On 4/5/2022 at 11:27 PM, LenT said:

I think, Renato, that by identifying the almost insurmountable complexities that they would have faced in developing a practical pump for dispensing fuel, you may have explained the total absence of any signs of the internal combustion engine in Ancient Rome.😊

Indeed, can it really just be coincidence that where you find most petroleum deposits, you also find Arabic numerals?

Just saying…..

Arabic numerals:

 

I know you are soon getting back to the ancient pound, pint, etc. if your government allow, but just see what the Europeans are starting (actually started in it 1999 but things go slow here too). You may be pleased that English is going to be the starting point:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. 

[Las Palmas]

When more and more countries are legalizing grass we may run low on beef. What shall the cows eat?

[Malc]

8 hours ago, Las Palmas said:

What shall the cows eat?

            corn                         wake up for heaven's sake young man ..........  how do you think we get  " corned beef "

Malc

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

(May or may not be regarded as topical)

Cruise control

Is this where you tell Tom what to do?

 

[deltapapa]

Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the tenth time.

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

[Phil0110]

my fav

[deltapapa]

[Malc]

3 hours ago, deltapapa said:

no price guide tho ........... 

Malc

[deltapapa]

19 hours ago, Malc said:

no price guide tho ........... 

Malc

Possibly due to an inability to keep pace with numerous  price increases😃

[Peter land]

On 7/11/2022 at 12:15 PM, deltapapa said:

would love to see this taking over in all coffee shops.. hahha

[deltapapa]

 

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

When I see my Spanish friends I say “mucho”.

It means a lot to them.

[deltapapa]

[deltapapa]

[PaulWhitt20]