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Martin W

Worst Joke Of The Week

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:P

this must be the worst joke of the week.... or is it ?

Man lost in desert with no water spies a town through the heat haze. He eventually reaches the town & stumbles into the first shop, collapses on the floor & begs for water. "Sorry sir, but we only sell jelly & cake" replies the owner. The man staggers to the next shop in his search for water. Again he begs for water & again receives the same reply " Sorry sir, but we only sell jelly & cake".

Third time lucky our man thinks as he drags himself into the final shop..." Sorry sir , but we only sell jelly & cake".

Mmmm thinks the man as he crawls out of the town, " A trifle bazaar"

Is there a worst one out there ?

:winky:

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it was so bad i laughed

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the poor man crawls on through the desert, still no water. Getting desperate. Comes to another shop. "Sorry sir, we only sell ties." Goes to next shop. "Sorry sir, we only sell ties." Gets to a third shop. "Sorry sir, we only sell ties."

Now desperate, he crawls the last ten miles he has in him before the end. At last he sees a huge hotel at an oasis, with fountains, swimming pools, and a bar selling finest bottled water. He gets to the door and the doorman steps forward and says, "I'm sorry sir, you can't come in here without a tie."

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Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk.

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laugh..... i nearly did!!!

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:P

Dave decides to call round to see his friend Andy who was recovering from a broken leg. Dave makes them both a drink & they sit down to discuss the latest football results. Dave suddenly notices a movement in the corner of the room & gets up to investigate.Closer inspection reveals a giant centipede." Don't throw it out " shouts Andy..."that's my home help the council sent round".

" You must be joking" replies Dave "what can a centipede do for you?"

" He gets in the shopping & runs errands for me as I am still unable to walk very far on my crutches." "Nah don't believe you " says Dave.

"Well just watch this then" says Andy.." Centipede, go & get me the evening paper from the corner shop".

5 minutes pass & the centipede is still shuffling around in the corner. " I knew you were winding me up "says Dave with a smile on his face.

"Centipede" shouts Andy " I told you to get to the corner shop & pick up tonight's paper". The centipede looks over with a pained expression on it's face..." Give me a chance , I'm still putting my shoes on! "

:winky:

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:o

Little Mike comes home after a day out on a school trip to the farm. "What animals did you see today at the farm ?" asks his mum.

"Well" said Mike, "We saw a field of sheep, a field full of pigs & a field full of F**kers !"

His mum is shocked at his reply & asks Mike to describe the "F**kers" in an attempt to establish what he was talking about.

" They were huge " replies little Mike " and black & white. The farmer said we get milk from them."

"Well", says his mum, "they are not called F**kers".

"Oh I know that" says Mike, " the teacher called them 'effers, but I knew what she meant "

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