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Useless Information


Shrek
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> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

> · You have two cows.

> · You sell one and buy a bull.

> · Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

> · You sell them and retire on the income.

>

> AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enron-capitalism):

> · You have two cows.

> · You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using

> letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then

execute

> a

> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four

> cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the

six

> cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company

> secretly

> owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven

cows

> back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns

eight

> cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president

of

> the

> United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided

with

> the release. The public buys your bull.

>

> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows.

> · You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four

> cows.

> · You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

>

> A FRENCH CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows.

> · You go on strike because you want three cows.

>

> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows.

> · You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an

ordinary

> cow

> and produce 20 times the milk.

> · You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and

> market

> them worldwide.

>

> A GERMAN CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows.

> · You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a

month,

> and milk themselves.

>

> A BRITISH CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows.

> · Both are mad.

>

> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

> · You break for lunch.

>

> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows.

> · You count them and learn you have five cows.

> · You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

> · You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

> · You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

>

> A SWISS CORPORATION:

> · You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

> · You charge others for storing them.

>

> A CHINESE CORPORATION:

> · You have two cows.

> · You have 300 people milking them.

> · You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest

the newsman who reported the numbers.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:

· You have two cows.

· That one on the left is kinda cute...

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  • 2 weeks later...

it's a fact that everyone has eaten food that has been spiked with human fluids at least once in their lifetime (unless your a baby)

For those who eat alot of takeaway foods would have more chances of eating this contaminated food.

That is a fact! But i did not find it in a book :lol:

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Originally posted by Rodders_UK
Originally posted by Steve

ive seen a dog eat it :lol::lol:

When I was a kid we had a dog that used to do that - flippin daft mutt:lol:

Your sposed to feed it tinned meet rod :lol:

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