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A Day In The Life Of A Bmw Driver


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The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming to one of my

motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down

for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely

big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motor way! The

driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an

apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane

(why do underlings use this lane? surely everyone knows it is for BMW

drivers only?).

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the

adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an

inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway,

but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my

headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and

to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him,

he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight

back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him,

he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the

hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man

gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes


Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had

to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have

some points put on (they're not free points either - they're £20 each and I

was only allowed 3)!

But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't

be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED

a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of

respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!

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