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Armed Forces Strike !

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15th April, 2003

In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the

government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim

measure, carry out military operations in Iraq.

The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their

job has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action

next Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime.

It is understood that they will spend their time standing around little

bonfires, rubbing their hands together and waving at passing vehicles who

honk their horns at them.

Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing

tea and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front

line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks,they

will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into

surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.

Prime Minister Tony Blair has already stated that the Fire Service

strike of last year proved that a vastly undermanned service with limited

training and unsuitable equipment can perform the duties of a well-trained,

well-equipped and well-manned professional force equally as efficiently

and without loss of life.

When it was pointed out to him that the bright red fire engines might

make an easy target for enemy fire, Mr. Blair said, "Never mind, we've got

too many firemen as it is... er, is that camera running?"

Asked for his comment, Britain's partner in the coalition in the war

against Iraq, US President George W. Bush, said "Ooh, can I have a go on

the siren?"

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dont frget nipping back into the base to use the toilet, kettle, check if they can see themselves on Sky News etc.

I thought they were on strike?

the ones I saw spent more time in the station than they did during their shift

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