Waiting For A Bus..

[Lex-aholic]

While waiting at a bus stop for a bus, a woman stepped onto a weight

machine that told your fortune and weight for a quarter. She put a

quarter in, and out came a card that read, "Your age is 32, you

weigh135 lbs., and you play the fiddle".

She found the fortune amusing, since she didn't play the fiddle, but

it did have her age correct.

About that time, an old gentleman walked up carrying a fiddle. She

asked him if she could see his fiddle. He agreed, and to their

amazement, she started playing the fiddle with great natural skill.

She wondered if the fortune machine had actually known something

about her that she didn't. She thought about it, and decided to try

the weight machine again.

She put another quarter in the machine, and out comes the card that

reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you have gastritis."

She found this one to be absurd, as she was in perfect health, so she

goes back to the bus stop to wait for her bus.

While sitting there, she develops abdominal pains that continue to

get worse until all of a sudden she farts. She wondered about the

fortune, and again was curious if the machine was capable of knowing

stuff about her that she didn't know.

She puts another quarter in the machine, and out comes a card that

reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you are about to have

s*x. "She laughed out loud, as she had been trying to find a decent

guy to screw for weeks, with no luck.

She is sitting there waiting for the bus, when this attractive young

man sits down and immediately their eyes locked, and they both knew

that they were right for each other. They quickly ducked down an

alley and began to screw like two teenagers.

The woman was so simply amazed at the ability of the machine that

she had to try it one more time. She stood on the machine, put her

last quarter in, and out came a card that read: "Your age is 32, you

weigh 135 lbs., You've fiddled, You've farted, You've f*cked around,

and now you've missed your bus".