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Terror Alert


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No offence meant :blush:, I just found this very funny:

As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in Continental Europe, the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find Another Oil-Rich Nation For Regime Change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack Random Countries (Ideally Those Without Any Credible Military)" and "Beg The British For Help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombing threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666


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I love it, a non PC joke for a change

As Mr.Burns would say


Full credit here goes to Bazza

I was caught short while shopping with my missus last weekend and had to go to the toilets in the shopping centre for a poop.

Just as I sat down, the guy in the cubicle next door said, "Hello".

Out of instinct I said "Hello" back.

"What are you doing?" he said

Panicking a bit by now, I responded: "Having a poo. You?"

To which he said: "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. The knob in the cubicle next door is trying to talk to me".

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