Divorce!

[MrADeveci]

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show

for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me

that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new

hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of

silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to

sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me

anymore, you don't want s*x anymore or anything. Either you're cheating

on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West

Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that

you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a

far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they

drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that

came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me

not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked

my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER,

because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you

when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on

them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just

borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning ... And your silk boxers

were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could

work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten

million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But

when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said

that with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So

take care.

Signed

Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born

Carl. I hope that's not a problem

[Thommo]

Quality.

[Rikos]

You really would be kicking yourself!!

[WylieCoyote]

It would ruin your day wouldn't it? That's pretty funny though

[Unregistered_User]

Cracking :D

J

[Russdx]

lol

[Paul Reece]

like it

[sparkystav]

Hilarious.

Stav

[DJ Wozza]

made me chuckle, nice 1.

[Chris Skelton]

It's also a Ry Cooder song called (I think) "You've made your move too soon"

[Tuff]

love it

[peter026]

Cracker

[P4UL T]

Seen that before, still very funny