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what do women really want?


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Young King Arthur was ambushed and

imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring


The monarch could have killed him, but

was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness.

So he offered him freedom, as long as he

could answer a very difficult question. Arthur

would have a year to figure out the answer;

if, after a year, he still had no answer, he

would be killed.

The question was: "What do women really


Such a question would perplex even the most

knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it

seemed an impossible query. Since it was

better than death, however, he accepted the

monarch's proposition to have an answer by

year's end. He returned to his kingdom and

began to poll everybody: the princess, the

prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the

court jester.

In all, he spoke with everyone but no one

could give him a satisfactory answer.

What most people did tell him was to consult

the old witch, as only she would know the

answer. The price would be high, since the

witch was famous throughout the kingdom

for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur

had no alternative but to talk to the witch.

She agreed to answer his question, but he'd

have to accept her price first: the old witch

wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of

the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's

closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified: she was

hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had

only one tooth, smelled like sewage water,

often made obscene noises.. He had never

run across such a repugnant creature.

He refused to force his friend to marry her

and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke

with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too

big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life

and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and

the witch answered Arthur's question:

What a woman really wants is to be able

to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had

uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life

would be spared. And so it went. The

neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life

and granted him total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had!

Arthur was torn between relief and anguish.

Gawain was proper as always, gentle and

courteous. The old witch put her worst

manners on display. She ate with her

hands, belched and passed gas, and

made everyone uncomfortable.

The wedding night approached: Gawain,

steeling himself for a horrific night, entered

the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The

most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay

before him! Gawain was astounded and

asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been

so kind to her (when she'd been a witch),

half the time she would be her horrible,

deformed self, and the other half, she

would be her beautiful maiden self. Which

would he want her to be during the day

and which during the night?

What a cruel question! Gawain began to

think of his predicament: during the day a

beautiful woman to show off to his friend,

but at night, in the privacy of his home, an

old spooky witch? Or would he prefer

having by day a hideous witch, but by night

a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate


What would *you* do?

What Gawain chose follows below, but

don't read until you've made your own choice.

"The Answer"

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her

choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she

announced that she would be beautiful all

the time, because he had respected her

and had let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?

The moral is that it doesn't matter if your

woman is pretty or ugly, smart or dumb.

Underneath it all, she's still a witch. :D

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