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Today's Joke


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During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students, one by one.

"Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

He responds, "Just a minute, I have to go *****." The teacher replied, "That would be rude and impolite!"

"What about you John, how would you say it?" John replied, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table."

"And you Peter, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"

Peter responded, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted.

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they

were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a

phone call.

The other three were discussing their children while walking to

the first tee.

"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself

in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now

owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful,

in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a

brand new home as a gift."

The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his

career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership.

"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a

friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a

stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the

last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio

as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell

him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny

are, and ask what line of work his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned

out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser,

and I've just recently discovered he's gay."

As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the

bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last

three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars,

and a big stock portfolio."

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