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Friday's Joke


LexAzur
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A Russian woman married an English gentleman and they lived happily ever after in London. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English but did manage to communicate with her husband.

The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, she clucked like a chicken and pulled up her skirt and pointed to her thigh.

The butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.

The next day she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say it so she clucked like a chicken and unbottoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts!

The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

The 3rd day the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...................

What were you thinking??? Hellooooooooooo, her husband speaks English!

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die, just in case.

This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being

what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February

And March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then

added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been £0.00, now is somewhere around £60.00

A family member placed a call to Citibank:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being dead?"

Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Family Member: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."

Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

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