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Saturday's Joke


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Tell me this..

Why does a gynocologist leave the room when you get undressed?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic"?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

How come you can see the stars from the Earth, but you can't see them when you're in space?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that "has trickled through mountains for centuries" have a "use by" date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would ever eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?

What do people in China call their good plates?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

At a Senior Citizen's Luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly women struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure. They were riding down the river when they came to a fork in the river and the gentleman asked the lady "Do you want to go up or down"?

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!

When they finished the man couldn't believe what just happened, but he'd just experienced the best s*x he'd had in years.

They finished for awhile and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He again asked the lady, "Up or down"?

There she went again, stripped off her clothes and made wild passionate love to him again! This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing with him the next day. She said yes, and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came to a fork in the river and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or down"?

The woman replied, "Down".

A little puzzled and disappointed the gentleman guided the boat down the river and when they came upon another fork in the river he asked the lady, "Up or down"?

She replied, "Up".

This really confused the gentleman so he asked, "What's the deal, yesterday everytime I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, NOTHING"!

She replied, "Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were f#$% or drown."

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