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Sunday's Joke


LexAzur
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The ending to the Cinderella Story............

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fullfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"

The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an explempary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."

Instantly her rocking chair turned to solid gold. "Ohhh, thank you Fairy Godmother!"

The fairy godmother replied, " it is the least I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life. With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered..........

(Scroll down. . . . )

wait for it...............................

here it comes................................

"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the

assistant for some rectum deodorant. The

pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the

woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist

that she has been buying the stuff from this store

> >on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"

"But I always buy it here," says the blonde

"Do you have the container that it came in?"

asks the pharmacist..

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it

to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,

"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container

back and reads out loud from the container

"To apply, push up bottom"

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week, I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year and I had yet to pay for them. Boy, oh boy, did we go around!

Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up, and he hasn't called back.

Guess he felt really stupid, huh?

Apples and Wine

Women...

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top

of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because

they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes

take the apples from the ground, which aren't as good, but easy. The

apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality,

they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come

along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of

the tree.

Now Men....

Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up

to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something

acceptable, to have dinner with.

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