> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> · You have two cows.
> · You sell one and buy a bull.
> · Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> · You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enron-capitalism):
> · You have two cows.
> · You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
> letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute
> a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four
> cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the
six
> cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
> secretly
> owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows
> back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns
eight
> cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president
of
> the
> United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided
with
> the release. The public buys your bull.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows.
> · You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four
> cows.
> · You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows.
> · You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows.
> · You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary
> cow
> and produce 20 times the milk.
> · You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and
> market
> them worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows.
> · You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month,
> and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows.
> · Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> · You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows.
> · You count them and learn you have five cows.
> · You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> · You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> · You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
> · You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> · You charge others for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> · You have two cows.
> · You have 300 people milking them.
> · You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest
the newsman who reported the numbers.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
· You have two cows.
· That one on the left is kinda cute...