Lex-aholic

It could just be the power steering belt... maybe not the pump...

Sorry for my silly comment about the CV boot, i didn't think to check if our cars had them, lol.

Could be worse - you could be me and not even know what a CV boot is

if you need someone to look over the car, im only the other side of Bath

CV boot, there isnt one

Thanks for the offer - I might just take you up on that if that's okay.

I'll see how things go for the time being, cuz I've got a holiday booked shortly as well......too much happening at one time.....I can feel the stress levels rising already and it's only Monday

Just out of question - if it was the power steering pump, does anybody have a clue as to how much it'll cost to be replaced ? <nail biting>

perhaps a slightly split CV joint, that is on it's way out?

Have a look behind the hub on the drivers front wheel, make sure it's clean and grease free.

If there is gunk and stuff everywhere, perhaps this could be it.

It's kind of difficult to diagnose on the forum, can you give us more detail about when it started, how you heard it and stuff like that?

I'll have a look at the wheel again later, but I'm pretty sure when I checked Yesterday it looked all okay and clean.

I drove the car down the gym Yesterday afternoon (which was fine as far as I remember). It was when I got in and drove back home later that I noticed it. But you can't hear it if the windows are up, so it's definitely outside the car.

Marvellous though ain't it.......I'm looking to trade the car in about September / October time so I'm trying to save my pennies for my next car.....oh well - worse things happen I suppose.

What would happen if it was a split CV joint ? (just out of question).

Thanks for your help BTW. B)

errrm, Power Stearing pump? Is it on that side, i can't remember...

Or perhaps the plastic arch guard is rubbing on the inside?

I had a look underneath, but couldn't see anything rubbing at all - although with the funny noise created, it could sound like the plastic slightly rubbing against the tyre.

As for the power steering pump - I really haven't got a clue. I am soooo not mechanically minded. I did check the power steering fluid and that's full. It's kinda like the noise only really appears when the weight is distributed to that area of the car, ie. when you go around a left bend. But the gassy sound does sound remarkably like when you put full lock on - even though the car isn't on full lock (if you follow me) :duh:

I have this strange hissy sound coming from the front driver's side of the car (possibly wheel) area when I take a left turn at speed - ie, if I was just to pull out from a junction I wouldn't hear it. It's only happened since Yesterday.

Any ideas what it could be ? It doesn't happen when I hit the brakes, or when I go over bumps so I'm not sure what else it would be. It isn't causing any problems at the moment, but as I'm not aware of what it is I'm a bit concerned and puzzled :duh:

I've got the Kazama Pro-Lex fitted at the moment, but will be looking to sell in a couple of weeks (when I get it removed) for £150.

I can e:mail you a few pics from my mobile if you're interested. Drop me a PM if you wanna know any more

Bugger - sorry for the delay in replying peeps (ain't got a PC at home), but thanks for the Birthday wishes anyway :D

Damn, when I read the title of this thread I thought it was GOOD news....

....but that sucks ! Sorry to hear about the spin-out. Glad no-one was injured though

That car must be sooooooo dirty now Hando :winky: BTW, it's gonna rain the weekend !

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are

there and you say in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it's

embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you

tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I

know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room. As

he approached the desk, the Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you

seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my d*ck," he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into

a crowded Doctor's Room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment

in this room full of people. You should have said there is something

wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem

further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of

others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken

her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't p!ss out of it," the man replied.

While waiting at a bus stop for a bus, a woman stepped onto a weight

machine that told your fortune and weight for a quarter. She put a

quarter in, and out came a card that read, "Your age is 32, you

weigh135 lbs., and you play the fiddle".

She found the fortune amusing, since she didn't play the fiddle, but

it did have her age correct.

About that time, an old gentleman walked up carrying a fiddle. She

asked him if she could see his fiddle. He agreed, and to their

amazement, she started playing the fiddle with great natural skill.

She wondered if the fortune machine had actually known something

about her that she didn't. She thought about it, and decided to try

the weight machine again.

She put another quarter in the machine, and out comes the card that

reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you have gastritis."

She found this one to be absurd, as she was in perfect health, so she

goes back to the bus stop to wait for her bus.

While sitting there, she develops abdominal pains that continue to

get worse until all of a sudden she farts. She wondered about the

fortune, and again was curious if the machine was capable of knowing

stuff about her that she didn't know.

She puts another quarter in the machine, and out comes a card that

reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you are about to have

s*x. "She laughed out loud, as she had been trying to find a decent

guy to screw for weeks, with no luck.

She is sitting there waiting for the bus, when this attractive young

man sits down and immediately their eyes locked, and they both knew

that they were right for each other. They quickly ducked down an

alley and began to screw like two teenagers.

The woman was so simply amazed at the ability of the machine that

she had to try it one more time. She stood on the machine, put her

last quarter in, and out came a card that read: "Your age is 32, you

weigh 135 lbs., You've fiddled, You've farted, You've f*cked around,

and now you've missed your bus".

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.

They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget".

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees, a Ham Bush"

Strong points, but completely true. How the heck can you fine someone for putting litter in a bin ??? :duh:

They had an article in the paper yesterday (slightly off topic) where a Headmaster has said that he doesn't mind the children having snowball fights, providing they get permission from the person they are going to throw the snowball at first !?!!?

Where is this country heading ?

i actually think you have taken the headmaster statement out of context...

I believe what he was saying was a snow ball fight is fine if all parties involved are consenting to the act...

in other words, some poor kid isn't being bombarded unexpectantly, or snowballs being thrown at cars...

just kids wanting to throw snowballs at each other is fine..

Hmmmm, maybe. But that was what they put as the main headline

Strong points, but completely true. How the heck can you fine someone for putting litter in a bin ??? :duh:

They had an article in the paper yesterday (slightly off topic) where a Headmaster has said that he doesn't mind the children having snowball fights, providing they get permission from the person they are going to throw the snowball at first !?!!?

Where is this country heading ?

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"

She replied: a can of peaches.

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

He said, " What is it? "

The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!"

The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind.

The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!" The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"

Norwich Union with the cow is my fave - brill

Take no notice, i thought it was funny. :D Its getting beyond the joke all this political correctness. This board was becoming the epitome of it too until the mods have backed off. ;)

Now get eddiea1 to start a thread..lol!

The thing is there ARE alot of ugly women out there, just as there are ugly blokes - it' just a fact.

But as there was no picture of anybody I don't feel this joke is a problem as it's not pointed to anybody in particular.

If it makes people feel better, it was an ugly FAMILY

Maybe there is something wrong with aiming this joke towards 7 and 9 year olds as well ?!??!?

I know with Mercedes its an option on all models except the S-class......

that's absolute pants. Do Merc still charge for a radio then?

Pants! Just checked BMW's website and brand new 530d SE does not come with leccy seats as standard. £780 option to get leccy seats on a 33k car. Makes me realise how much of a bargain a Lexus really is then.

When I worked at Mercedes as a valeter I had to give people lifts to and from work. Driving this bloke in, I asked the usual to make conversation "car gone in for a service then ?". He replied with "NO, I bought the bloody thing a week ago. Fell in love with it at first sight, drove like a dream - just didn't realise that it never had electric windows !!". That was on a C Class Merc !! I know cheap end little cars which have more standard extras than some of these top end cars. :D He ended up having to pay an extra £600

Again, mines the same. Anybody would think there is a monster under the bonnet! I always think it look quite cool :D

I did wonder if I'd bought a diesel

Good joke Niraj - lovin' it

Ditto the others. I crapped myself when I first got my IS - there was soooo much "smoke" coming out of the exhaust I thought I'd bought a ringer.

Nothing wrong with it at all - just a vapour thang :winky:

A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and

went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next

to the mailboxes wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation

with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious

that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying

to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's

go to my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her

apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her

robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my

best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your

ears!"

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these

breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day!

My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin -- no

blemishes anywhere!

How can you think that the best part

of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you

said you heard someone coming? That was me."

A Blond walks into a hair salon wearing earphones listnening to her walkman and asks for a haircut.

Sure, says the hair dresser...let me take thouse earphones off of you...

No, says the blond...I'm not taking these off...you'll just have to cut around them.

Astounded hairdresser amazed and in disbelieve starts cutting hair with the earphones left on her head...customer's wish is customer's wish

Blond continues comming to the hair dresser always with the earphones on and always keeping them on for the hair cut.

Eventualy hairdresser's curiosity takes over and he decides to find out what it is the blond listens to.

During the haircut, he takes off her earphones and as soon as he does...the Blond drops dead.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He slowly lifts up the earphones listens in and hears " Breath in....Breath out...Breath in...Breath out"

A plane is on its way to London when a blonde in Economy Class gets

up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight

attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then

tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have

to sit in the back.

The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to London

and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and

co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that

belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because

she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her

seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to London

and I'm staying right here!"

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police

waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen

to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she's blonde?, I'll handle this, I'm married

to a blonde, I speak blonde!" He goes back to the blonde, whispers in

her ear.

She says "Oh, I'm sorry," gets up and moves back to her seat in the

economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he

said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her First Class isn't going to London."