Thanks for the quick response Stuart, The TOY1 plug into the back of the stereo is so tight that I can not pull it back out, don't want to put too much force on it incase I damage anything.
So, I've got the Y shaped TOY1 cable plugged into the right hand side (when looking at the stereo in situ) rear socket, the original cable that was in that socket (has two wires on it) I've now plugged into the TOY1 and connected the other end to the GROM. Everything on the car works as normal (radio and Sat nav Ladies voice). Plugged in the IPOD using the connector turned it on and nothing. Pressed CD, then pressed CD twice, still nothing. I have got the USB cable and the intention was to have both available so that i could use either Ipod or Android phone, but right now got neither.
I've not tried the firmware yet, but seeing as I only got the GROM last Saturday, would've expected it to be upto date.
getting a bit frustrated, seeing as most people have said it's so straight forward and seeing as as the CARPUTER-SHOP guy said to cut a wire. Although GROM in the U.S have said that's not a problem!!