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Posts posted by peter026
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999,233
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?--
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999,235
"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
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999,237
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
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999,239
In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders."
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This is so funny, just had to share
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999,274
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ?
The second one !
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999,276
Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect !
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999,278
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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999,280
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view
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999,282
Never, under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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999,284
He who hesitates is probably right.
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999,287
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?”
The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
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999,289
People who think they know everything upset those of us who do.
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999,291
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
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999,293
There were 7 dwarfs in a shower all feeling happy
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999,295
If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
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999,297
Teacher: Did you father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
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Seasons
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999,299
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Game: Count Down From 1 Million
in Lexus Owners Club Lounge
Posted
999,230
Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.