Talking Centipede

[Lex-aholic]

Bloke walks into a pet shop and says "I want a really different pet please"

Pet shop owner says "I have just the thing for you sir, came in this morning - a talking centipede"

"Wow" says bloke - "I'll take him!"

Gets his pet home and thinks: I know I'll go for a pint and take him with me, so he lifts the lid on the box and says "Hey, Centipede! I'm going for a pint - do you fancy one?"

.... there was no response, so the bloke goes upstairs to get changed and ready and comes back down and lifts the lid and says "Hey centipede, I'm going for a beer do you want to come?"

Still no reply. So chuntering to himself about how it's not a talking one at and he's been ripped off, he goes to the kitchen to make a butty before going out.

Just before he leaves he tries one last time - "Hey Mr Talking Centipede, do you want to come for a pint?!?" ............. he hears this little voice say "I heard you the first F*ing time, I'm putting me boots on .........."