A Guide To Driving In Ireland

[Tarmac]

1. Indicators will give away your next move. A confident Irish driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with WW, MO or MH plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ireland during rush

hour.

8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!

10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

:P

[Lex-aholic]

The funny thing is, I agree with most of that !!

[Tarmac]

it's be funnier if it wasn't so true unfortunately...

i was doing a job over in Bromley last week and i was chatting to a chap there who had been driving in Ireland a few weeks back and couldn't get his head around how dangerous it was. so true tho... it's like the dukes of hazard in certain parts! :D

[Noel]

Sadly i have to agree......

On the Indicators Issue......I'm sure you seen the guys that when overtaking don't put on their Indicator when pulling out, but do indicate when moving back in.........what did i think they were going to do........continue to drive on the right.....STUPID FU*KERS

Ok if there are more than 2 lanes but on B roads...??????

Worst of all is the guy who won't give in when overtaking.......continuous white line.....blind bend approaching.....Masterminds" I've started -so i'll finish".....seen too many of them

On the Issue of overtaking......There is definitly a status thing going on, If your in an old cheap car then everyone will try and overtake you, regardless of what speed you are doing.....CRAZY

I was driving an old "pink" Starlet while waiting for a part to arrive and even though i was doing slightly more than the limit......they were queuing up to pass, one woman actually passed me and then realised the speed and slowed down in front of me, forcing me to brake aaaarrrrgggghh ......

Now that i drive the Altezza again....NO ONE has overtaken me...even if i'm going slow.....

RANT over

[lee_iceman]

Driving out of Dublin few years back I stopped before a hatched yellow box, because my exit wasn't clear.

To my amazement cars went around me and filled up the box.