Do Not Sell My Personal Information Jump to content


Arf, Arf - Mtotoring Jokes


Zee007
 Share

Recommended Posts

Couple of funnies I got sent today - thought you folks may like em...... :lol:

Recently in a Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you sixty quid. Next..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the lady who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Gun? What gun ?? ...There's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: I said what ????

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, And I'll bet the lying son-of-a-bitch told you I was speeding too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Latest Deals

Lexus Official Store for genuine Lexus parts & accessories

Disclaimer: As the club is an eBay Partner, The club may be compensated if you make a purchase via eBay links

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share







Lexus Owners Club Powered by Invision Community


eBay Disclosure: As the club is an eBay Partner, the club may earn commision if you make a purchase via the clubs eBay links.

DISCLAIMER: Lexusownersclub.co.uk is an independent Lexus forum for owners of Lexus vehicles. The club is not part of Lexus UK nor affiliated with or endorsed by Lexus UK in any way. The material contained in the forums is submitted by the general public and is NOT endorsed by Lexus Owners Club, ACI LTD, Lexus UK or Toyota Motor Corporation. The official Lexus website can be found at http://www.lexus.co.uk
×
  • Create New...