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Made Me Laugh


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One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind


"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample

and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker and

better than a doctor".

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.

He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for the

urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy

activity. It will improve in two weeks"

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack

began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap

water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and

daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack

hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He deposits

five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The

computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never

get better...........thank you for shopping at Asda.

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