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Friday Evening Jokes


lelandv
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Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"

"OH DEAR *** NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His staff sits stunned at this display of

emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks

up and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!"

-------

There were three people on an airplane. One was Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill Clinton.

They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!"

George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100 dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!"

Bill Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved the world!"

---------

George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.

He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are

there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself

with intelligent people."

Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really

intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea.

"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime Minister

in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty..."

The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have

a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"

"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.

Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, ***** Cheney.

"*****, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's

not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that

one."

***** Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him

an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in

the next stall.

***** shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have

a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

***** Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"

Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.

"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin

Powell."

Bush gets up, stomps over to ***** Cheney, and angrily yells into his face,

"No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

======== edited =========

What's with the auto-censor?

======================

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