Do Not Sell My Personal Information Jump to content

Friday Evening Jokes


Recommended Posts

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"

"OH DEAR *** NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His staff sits stunned at this display of

emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks

up and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!"


There were three people on an airplane. One was Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill Clinton.

They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!"

George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100 dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!"

Bill Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved the world!"


George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.

He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are

there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself

with intelligent people."

Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really


The Queen takes a sip of tea.

"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime Minister

in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty..."

The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have

a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"

"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.

Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, ***** Cheney.

"*****, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's

not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that


***** Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him

an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in

the next stall.

***** shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have

a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

***** Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"

Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.

"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin


Bush gets up, stomps over to ***** Cheney, and angrily yells into his face,

"No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

======== edited =========

What's with the auto-censor?


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Latest Deals

Lexus Official Store for genuine Lexus parts & accessories

Disclaimer: As the club is an eBay Partner, The club may be compensated if you make a purchase via eBay links

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


Lexus Owners Club Powered by Invision Community

eBay Disclosure: As the club is an eBay Partner, the club may earn commision if you make a purchase via the clubs eBay links.

DISCLAIMER: is an independent Lexus forum for owners of Lexus vehicles. The club is not part of Lexus UK nor affiliated with or endorsed by Lexus UK in any way. The material contained in the forums is submitted by the general public and is NOT endorsed by Lexus Owners Club, ACI LTD, Lexus UK or Toyota Motor Corporation. The official Lexus website can be found at
  • Create New...