NickE

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went to the front door. I opened the door and ran straight towards my car. Outside I ran straight into my future father-in-law who had been waiting for me on the path. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are so happy. We did this as a test of your devotion to our eldest, and now you have passed that test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." The moral of this story is: | v | v | v | v | v | v | v | v | v | v | v | v | v | v always keep your condoms in your car.!

Does anyone know of a website that lists the insurance groups? I want to select from a list of makes/models to see what insurance group a particular vehicle(s) is.

Does this mean you're going to bring a guitar to the next meet and give us a rendition then?

A young couple are about to get married. The girl says to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they had not been intimate was because she was very flat-chested. If he wished to cancel the wedding, it would be okay with her. The guy thought about it for a while and said he did not mind if she had no boobs, he still loved her. Then the guy turns to the girl and said that he also wants to make a confession. He said that below his waist he was just like a baby, and if the girl wished to cancel the wedding, it'd be fine by him. The girl thought about it for a while and said that she did not mind and she also believed there were other things far more important in a marriage than s*x. Both were happy that they'd been honest with each other. That weekend they got married. On the wedding night the girl took off her clothes and she was indeed as flat as a pancake. Finally, the guy took off his clothes and one look at the guy's naked body made the girl faint and fall to the floor. After she came to, the guy asked, 'I told you before we got married, why did you still faint?' The girl said, 'You told me it was just like a baby.' The guy replied, 'That's right, it's eight pounds and 21 inches.'

Barrie, have you considered this option? If you are stumping up a grand for the car, and your son is also stumping up a grand for the insurance, together that is about what you would lose in depreciation on a new small car. Some manufacturers are selling small cars with one years free insurance - he could get a nice new car for the same amount of money. Of course, if he has an accident then it could become a lot more costly, but worth considering IMO. Nick

Can't remember where i got this one from - I hope it wasn't from LOC. :duh: - but it is very funny :D :P A couple were invited to a swish family masked fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had s*x in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening." "You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad. Apparently he had the time of his life."

I followed it in on Sunday - what a geourgeous rooOOAARRRrr sound it made. Close your eyes, and you'd think there was a lion next to you. If it sounds that good at 5mph, just think what it must sound like on the open road!

I know it's not original, but think 'The Fast and the Luxurious' is very appropriate and topical (just) to boot. You'd better check to make sure he hasn't copyrighted it first though! Nick

Yes, it's raining here in Northampton, and has been all day so far. Not heavy, but a constant drizzle. If you are now putting off JAE until tomorrow when the forecast is for much better weather, perhaps you need cheering up: A major High Street bank are installing new "Drive-through" cash point machines and customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. MALE CUSTOMERS 1 Drive up to the cash machine 2 Insert card into machine and enter PIN 3 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw 4 Retrieve card, cash and receipt 5 Drive off FEMALE CUSTOMERS 1 Drive up to cash machine 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine 3 Re-start the stalled engine 4 Wind down the window 5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 6 Turn the radio down 7 Attempt to insert card into machine 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car 9 Insert card 10 Re-insert card the right way up 11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page 12 Enter PIN. 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 14 Enter amount of cash required 15 Check make up in rear view mirror, adding lipstick if required 16 Retrieve card and receipt 17 Search through handbag contents on seat to locate purse and place card inside 18 Place receipt in back of cheque book 19 Re-check make-up 20 Drive forwards 2 meters 21 Reverse back to cash machine 22 Retrieve cash 23 Re-locate purse and place cash inside 24 Give appropriate hand signal to irate male drivers queuing behind 25 Restart stalled engine and pull off 26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles 27 Release hand brake

Thanks for that - I guess if I'd put a bit more effort into looking I would have found it. It's a good reference point, and as such it's a pity the photo is buried so deep within the thread. It would be nice if we could have a members mugshot section in the gallery so any time you need to put a face to a name, there's a common place to look. Cheers Nick

Where can I see a group photo from the Burnaston factory tour, with a list of names so I can put names to faces?

Chances are that I can make this up for you - whether or not depends on the exact dimensions and material specs. Are you going to JAE with the car - we can discuss the details there? Nick

I've seen a VW transporter do a wheelie :o :duh: :winky:

The box-section brace should not be difficult, it's the circular bits at either end that may prove to be difficult to make. Can yo give some dimensions? Particularly the outside diameter, inside diameter and thickness of material for circular section. Did you design this as a new part, or is it a part of your car that has broken? Where will it fit and what function will it do? -that is important information for performance, safety and MOT. Nick

IMO its by far the best thing on TV at the moment. I'm amazed more people aren't into it.

Anyone here a fan of the current series of 24 on the BBC Sunday nights?

As far as I am aware, all the interface screens (menus) are controlled via the software. What system is it? Have you tried putting a UK disc into it to see what comes up? Nick

Brilliant! Keep 'em coming.

As we all know, today is Ryan's birthday (many happy returns to you mate) but....... According to LOC he's 32 today and...... According to TOC he's 29 today ??????????????????????????? Explanation? Anything to do with Lexus people being that much older?

Hi, I met some of you at the last two club outings (Burnaston and karting). As I live just two miles from Billing, I am offering my assistance to anyone who might need it from the TOC/LOC clubs. I am not a bank, and my wife is definitely off limits, but if there's anything else you need before/during the weekend, then all you have to do is ask. This includes such things as local directions, tools, camping kit, use of the telephone etc. Nick 2002 Toyota Previa CDX