dipstick

How does this scale? If you don't pay your tax, get fined 80 quid, pay that; do they then fine you again if you still don't tax it that year? Otherwise it's cheaper to pay the fine than the tax... Anyway, if I were dodging tax, wouldn't I have registered the car's address with dvla at a burned out property down the East End somewhere, so I'd never even get the letter telling me to pay the fine, never mind pay it!

On a buttered Weetabix. Scrummy.

Heavens, you can't drive to the Post Office on pension day. You have to take your little shopping trolley very slowly along the pavement in a wibbly wobbly fashion, and make sure you stop in the doorway of Marks and Spencers to talk about your operation.

I was going to reply to that, but I have urgent business at the post office. I need to pop on my tartan slippers first as well. Ooh, and I fancy a tin of salmon for my tea. When I was faffing about in the new LS at my dealer the other day I was amazed at the absolute silence as the steering wheel popped in and out compared to the GS, but the folding mirrors made a noise like a bee sawing down a tree. It's naught but a gimmick, whippersnappers.

Simon the IT nerd for me, with the admonishment that this was so pathetic it was the only one that didn't get a picture.

Welcome to the forums teabelly. Good to see you made it over here.

Blimey. Well not knowing what the heck is going on, plus my own propensity to say stupid things, I think I'll count myself lucky it didn't include me and go into lurk mode from now on, just in case!

Google has a lovely new calculator/convertor in English feature you may not have seen? Try "2 acres in square inches" for example. Or indeed "3 pints in teaspoons"

Excellent, the last being the best!

In a quest for stupidity and boredom alleviation (read no more if you don't share my sense of humour), I found this. Use the Altavista language translation tool. http://babelfish.altavista.com/babelfish/tr Turn this already ridiculous text from the Lexus website "Our vision to deliver the finest automotive experience has been the key to our global success." into Korean and back to English, and it comes out as "Most us who deliver the automatic experience which is precise time continuously it is a key in our world-wide success." Personally I think that's an improvement. Of course, I have the time to waste doing this, because I work in IT.

It's painfully easy to do it in my GS if you open just the rear door and leave the key inside, on the back seat or whatever. If you get out and shut the door, after 30 seconds it will lock. This is SOLELY because the rear door open sensors don't work (fault on my GS). In case you think that isn't relevant, I have to say that other members here have (or had) faulty rear door sensors on their GS cars. (Loz?). It may be a relatively common fault therefore. So if you have a GS, don't ASSUME you can't lock yourself out in the manner described by Scorpion; check the rear door sensors are actually working! The giveaway for mine is that the rear internal lights don't come on when the rear door is open. I've also been in the back after the thirty seconds, car has "locked", it detected me in it and set the alarm off.

Ta Colin, worth knowing. As ever.

I bow to Colin on his assertion that there are in fact 5 settings for the lights; my Lexus dealer explicitly told me there were three however, so either there is a UK/US difference or the dealer is wrong. However, whatever they did, my lights now come on a bit more sensibly. As to the boot opening, no, I've never opened it inadvertantly, and I find it easier to just press it quickly when I have an armful of shopping. My boot, however, does not fly open (or even move at all - it just clicks free and then it can be lifted. You'd never know it was open at all unles you tried to lift it. I don't know whether that's the springs or whether it's behaviour by design on the GS.

No, there are just three "positions" and they are set at medium at the factory. So you can either make 'em turn on "a bit earlier" or "a bit later", that's all.

I asked my dealer (albeit on my GS) and they knew how, and did it for free. There are three settings and I altered it so they come on earlier. I also had them change the boot opening behaviour - it now opens on a single quick press of the key fob, rather than having to hold it down for a few seconds. Tell them they need to alter the C-BEST settings I think.

Two year payback? I'll have sold the car by then!

Colin for supreme helpfulness and good humour. Loz because he makes me laugh and mystifies me with his language in equal quantities.

That made me laugh a lot.

SCARY! Mine was my own, the other night - in the dark, approached roundabout, simply did not see the car already on it, near miss. VERY embarrassing and made me worry about my competence all the way home.

Well, I didn't claim authorship! It's quite an obvious scam really. Didn't understand the tps comment; was it aimed at me?

Serendipity?

Interesting conclusion, but in this context, erroneous.

You read it here first.

I also note a recent report that some insurance companies are now arguing that you are not covered (or have reduced cover) if you have an accident whilst doing something illegal, such as jumping a red light. If this is extended then we might find ourselves not covered if we do 31 in a 30.

I just hope you appreciate my versatility in arguing the exact opposite in two threads. It's been a strange day.