dipstick

Dealers tell you any old nonsense to maximise their profit, of course. So if you have sat nav "ooh well, makes no real difference sir", and if you don't then it's "ooh, well, you if you only had satnav I could be a bit more generous, but then of course <insert car colour here> isn't that popular anyway you see". I guess we'd all do it if the position were reversed though. The only really successful strategy I've ever found is to say "in that case forget the whole thing" and actually mean it. Last time I did that I did really convince myself I no longer wanted the deal. The dealer subsequently rang me three times at home, getting shirtier each time because I kept saying "no longer interested mate". Finally he rang and said "ok, you can have the original deal you asked for" and was as nice as pie from then on. But you have to really mean it when you say no. After all, there's always another deal round the corner somewhere if that doesn't work.

The NIP must be SENT within 14 days of the offence. It's not relevant whether you actually get it in that time (otherwise you'd just say you didn't, wouldn't you!). If it gets lost in the post but they can show they sent it in the time, tough.

Well.

The joys of satnav - point it at the nearest petrol station. The Nissan system has a ghastly feature - when the fuel light comes on it will automatically re-route you to the nearest petrol station. Or is that actually well funky? I can't decide.

Oh well there you go, said I wouldn't be much use! I did try. Waah! *runs upstairs shouting "I don't want to talk about it"*

Hi Rich, welcome to the club! I have a series 2, so not much use to you, but in general, check the cambelt has been changed, check for a full service history, ideally with supporting paperwork, and if it has satnav (a must in my opinion) then make sure you get the latest CD with it as otherwise it'll cost you £150 or so. Have a look at the Club Knowledgebase - (drop down on the top right). Think about joining Gold. Cost you £25 but you're almost guaranteed to save that and maybe much more very quickly.

Crikey! It take me ten seconds just to work out which way to turn the wheel. Every time. Useless at it!

Ok, this is a test of your parking skills. Whatever you do, it can't be worse than mine. I came 10105th out of 10100 entrants so far. Things is, I actually DO park incredibly badly, so it must be true. Have a go. http://www.pepere.org/aventures/creneau_pepere.php?params=1

Usually you can have it done wherever you want, but if you don't use the one they suggest then they may not give you things like a courtesy car or other incidental benefits your policy might offer. But if you are claiming through the third party insurers (not necessarily your own) - then you have the right to be put back in the position you were in before the knock, which may mean you want to insist it being done to full Lexus standards. (Incidentally, one of the benefits of the Gold Members policy is the right to another Lexus whilst yours is off the road, I believe.) Now someone who knopws about insurance can put me right, but I believe the above to be true.

It's the soundproofing. Week ago, had to use the hooter in traffic. "Parp". Mrs Dipstick is in passenger seat and laughs herself silly, with words like "pathetic". W get home and she gets out to open the gate. As she gets by the bonnet I hit the hooter and she leaps about a mile in the air. I laugh myself silly with words like "pathetic".

21 Claire??!!! You need more of those chocolate buttons with hundreds and thousands on to take your mind off your right foot. Get nearer 31 in mine.

Ah, my little pontefract cake, I'm way ahead of you! Great site, but costs SO much money you need a second mortgage for your aniseed balls. Lovely thought though ta. The Princess.

Simple enough. Bacon was under grill in kitchen. I was watching TV. Long pause whilst Cheech and Chong babble on. Sniff a few times, look at mate. Can you smell smoke? Oh cripes, or words to that effect, followed by adventures with telephones and emergency operators. During which events maternal parent arrives home (was a LONG time ago) to discover her house is on fire and her hallway is knee deep in firemen. Not a popular bunny that afternoon, I can tell you.

Ah, Cheech and Chong. Last time I settled down with a tape of them I got so engrossed in their utter direness I forgot about the grill and set the house on fire. This is true. Sigh. Spaced out - yeah. Remember when pick'n'mix was 6d a quarter at Woolworths? Well you could get a whole LOAD of pink marshmallows for that and they've all reincarnated in my head today.

Well thank you very much. Now I have to spend my afternoon as Princess Smallnuts.

Yes, the Jag Owners Club does the same, but it's for "classic" cars, for insurance purposes only. (Mine was "valued" at 6k last year, but sold for 2.5k, so I question the worth of the valuation anyway.)

I think I should add here: I also remember the sixties. I can recall the headline in the Daily Mail - "Beatles to break up". Sigh. I am not high. I'm just spaced out and floaty today. I do not follow, advocate or condone the implied activities! The lesson is - never call a leprachaun Kevin and do not take too many Neurofen Plus on an empty stomach.

Well mine's a GS2, so the result is going to be different I would think, but in my case when the light comes on we all have a good laugh about it and take it from there really. It's still got about three gallons in it, which is about 90 miles plus for me. (Don't believe in litres. They are non-existent in my universe.) I could, I suppose, use part of Mrs Dipstick's anatomy to measure the liquid level but I fear that might result in withdrawal of certain rights. Like breathing.

What a fantastic idea. *scurries into stationery cupboard hissing gently*

I asked the same quesation a while back and was made to feel tiny by clever old Colin (as always!) The answer is obvious. Fill it up. You now know how much is in it. When the light comes on, fill it up again. See how much goes in. Subtract that from the tank's capacity and you know how much was left.... Make sense?

I'm like totally spaced out and floaty today. Just thought you should know.

Had exactly this on my CD drive the other day. Turned out it was the data cable being slightly loose in the drive itself. The power cable was ok, so it lit up etc, just Windows coudn't see the CD. Open the PC case, make sure the big flat grey cable in the back of the drive is pressed firmly home into the sockets. Worth a go before spending money!

Exactement, M. Colin.

I agree with Gavin - if Lexus France choose to do something different that's their right. They are a separate legal entity and can do as they wish within consumer law. There are no pan European laws forcing them to match other countries, other than basic rights (which would be a one year warranty).

Try flipping the feeder nozzle upside down? Can work sometimes.