peter026
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Everything posted by peter026
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999,230 Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? A. He's all right now.
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Phew
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Jam
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999,233 Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?--
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999,235 "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
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999,237 "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
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Pop
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999,239 In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders."
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This is so funny, just had to share Baby Queen
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999,274 Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !
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999,276 Who designed Noah's ark? An ark-itect !
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Bus
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999,278 Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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999,280 Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view
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999,282 Never, under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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999,284 He who hesitates is probably right.
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999,287 The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?” The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
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999,289 People who think they know everything upset those of us who do.
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999,291 Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
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999,293 There were 7 dwarfs in a shower all feeling happy
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999,295 If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
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Cards
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999,297 Teacher: Did you father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
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Seasons
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999,299 Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
