peter026
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Everything posted by peter026
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998,999 A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
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Merry Christmas To Steve, Mat And The Team
peter026 replied to lee_iceman's topic in Lexus Owners Club Lounge
Yep, thanks for the Card and gift. Merry Christmas everyone -
999,010 "Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied 'There's no (h)arm in it' "
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999,012 If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
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Chapter
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999,014 How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
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999,025 My mechanic told me, 'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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No matter how many people sign, the Government will do nothing. They have stock replies for petitions, which they send out when the petition closes.
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999,027 How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
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Cheers Lads and Lasses, every one seems to have bought me the same thing....I have enough Liquorice allsorts to last till next Birthday :o ...No new GS Derek (unless you're offering :winky: )
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Lexus Owners Club - Christmas Story
peter026 replied to Unregistered_User's topic in Lexus Owners Club Lounge
But the Lexus Fairy was on hand with her Magic wand, waving it and saying............. -
Jungle
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Mafia
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Hope you had a great day Ian
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999,067 Q. How did the blonde burn her nose? A. Bobbing for chips.
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999,079 Women should be obscene and not heard.
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Pensioner
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Drivers side size 12 and size 8 for the passenger side 22 inch and 19 inch
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999,084 Hamlet to Ophelia: 'I'll do a sketch of thee, what kind of pencil shall I use? 2B, or not 2B?'
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999,088 Apéritif:: French for a set of dentures.
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Tractor
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999,090 After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse
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999,092 Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos
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999,095 'We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left.'
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Pig
