peter026
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Everything posted by peter026
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999,187 s*x is like air, it's only bad when your not getting any.
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999,189 If you smoke after s*x, you're doing it too fast.
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I bought something on line, had email saying dispatched 19 Nov. Still waiting, last time I bought from these, parcel arrived 7 days after ordering. Something sucks
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999,191 If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
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Ambitious
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999,193 Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
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Received some mail today, and for some reason I checked the post date. One was postmarked 17 Nov on a first class stamp. The latest postmark on the others was 1st Dec. Any one know what's going on It was much better when delivery was early a.m.
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Squash
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999,195 Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
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Welcome to the grandpa club..The good thing about grandchildren is, you can always give them back at the end of the day :D
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999,198 Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.
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999,200 Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme? A. Humpme Dumpme
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999,203 Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"
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Comical
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999,205 Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra. Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it! Wife: You wear shorts!
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999,211 Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."
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999,213 What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.
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999,218 Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now? It comes with all of Ken's stuff.
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Below
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999,221 You should always give 100% at work... 12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday
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Pressure
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999,224 Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common? A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.
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999,228 Q. Where do you get virgin wool from? A. Ugly sheep.
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Sibling
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Hello mate, where've you been?, A long time no post
