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peter026

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  1. 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual." 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!" 13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!". 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. __________________
  2. Yet another advisory directive on what not to eat or drink. What the hell am I going to have for dinner tonight, in fact what am I going to eat, period without getting Cancer, high blood pressure or suffering a Heart attack, or other equally serious malady. I have a BMI of 21, and if I adhere to all the info that the "experts" feed us, I will soon be anorexic. I am sure 5 servings of fruit and veg will not alone, keep body and soul together. For a snack, when I got in from work, I had a handful of peanuts and raisins. ( not salted, as this is apparently is also bad for you ). sod it tonight I am going to have.....Lamb chops and mint sauce, I'll cut down on red meat another day. I did have Fish last night, honest.
  3. Bugger.....Will have to miss this one, we have an Oscars night black tie evening, in aid of charity that night. Now a week later, mmmmmmmmm
  4. Well done John & Wozza, that water looks extremely cold. Some really good pic's there.
  5. Welcome to the cub :winky:
  6. It's the cabin temperature control sensor for the climate control
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