Actual Court Conversations

[SHAHZ]

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people

actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by

court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges

were actually taking place.

The last one has to be the best?

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that

morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Q: Are you :tsktsk: active?

A: No, I just lie there.

.

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've

forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he

doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the

autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my

desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising Law

somewhere

[ifraz]

Very good.....

I do like the last one

[Stu]

makes you wonder what goes on in our school systems!

Very good!

Stu

[Nodstar]

:duh: ORAL :duh:

[norkep]

Not surprising the Courts are in a mess with some of those Q & A's - They're brillant

[d3fy]

FLMAO, I'll send that one to my team at work!