Lex-aholic

Hmmmm.....I could be getting ideas about my next car....

I've never had much luck with them unfortunately. Best quote they could do me on my Aristo V300 was £1600!? :duh: Im 23, 3 points, low crime area, 2 accidents in last year (1 fault) and i ended up going to Elephant for only £520 B) One other think to remember with Confused.com is that they are bound to put extra money on top of the price quoted from the original insurer. So even if they DID give you a decent quote - try contacting the insurer direct. MoreThan would have been £30 dearer if I went with Confused.com :winky:

Put it this way.....I've lived in West Africa (where Voodoo originated) for over 10 years. The main use of JuJu (as it is correctly known) is for spiritual healing although I am familiar with it's use for "darker" purposes Cool. Are you how would you say it....qualified ? Just out of interest then. Note to all : does anybody else out there practice "alternative medicines" ? There's a program on telly at the moment about alternative medicines - really interesting if you're into that sort out thing. I think it's either on a Tuesday or a Wednesday night, about 8pm.

Great saving. Just confuses me how there can such a difference between companies - all I can presume is that Directline have had more claims against them in the past year compared to The Halifax. My mate has just done a quote on Confused.com He is 19, with 1 years NCB, and only 2 years driving under his belt. He has been offered a deal on a Peugeot 306 Diesel (his Toyota Corolla E Reg is falling apart). One company came back with £700ish for third part fire/theft, another came back with £3000ish for the same insurance !! Just goes to show - shop around.

I did wonder if it would let me use the P word. Anyway : Slash

Prick

Are you into Voodoo then Mr Morse ? I've seen it on loads of documentaries where they use it mainly for healing purposes. (and I've seen on these documentaries the potions in bottles you can buy as well. Some are VERY interesting :winky: Increased sexual performance comes to mind !)

You know when you're sat on the toilet and get one those weird thoughts ? Well.......If Acupuncture is where you stick needles in someone to make them better, and Voodoo is where you stick needles in a replica of someone to make them ill....what happens to the other if one twin has Acupuncture ?!? Answers on a postcard.........

Haha - that is stoopid ! Fooled me for a while, but I guess I'm not THAT high up on our IQ test..

If you get one of those prams for triplets, you the missus and your new born can share it !! Lexus GOLD stickers on the sides. You'll look the bees knees

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep sh*t now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!" Moral of this story.. Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullsh*t and brilliance only come with age and experience!

A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal, his mother couldnt help but notice how handsome Paul's flatmate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the eye. Reading his mums thoughts, Paul volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but i assure you, Simon & I are just flatmates". About a week later, Simon came to Paul saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't supposeshe took it do you?" "Well I doubt it, but i will email her just to be sure" said Paul. So he sat down and wrote: DEAR MOTHER, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER. LOVE PAUL Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read: DEAR SON, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW. LOVE MUM Lesson of the day, NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER (SHE ALWAYS, ALWAYS FINDS OUT)

Put the SC430 wheels on the pram. You could have the coolest pram in the world. :winky:

Erm....it could be me, but I can't find the joke on the link ?

Wow dude !! What a week. Congratulation on both new entries into your life :D

Gee thanks!!! Just make sure it's nothing car related -- that could lead to serious injury. :D Incidentally, a mate of mine here in work (another maths nerd) did the test and got 147. All further questions should go to him. He owns a Fiesta, though... Si OMG - you could have the brainiest office in the world !!

Looks like I'm just yer Mr. Average then ! Just a thought - does this mean that we should got to Diapason with all our questions ?? :D QUICK.....everybody send Diapason a question to his PM !!

Pheeewww !! Glad to hear that it was just dirty !! :D That Gold Class wax stuff is brill ain't it. I used that for ages on my Black Bora, and it just brought the colour of the paint out perfect. Now moved on though to the NXT Meguiars wax. Just remember to wash it once a week, and keep a close eye for any more industrial debris. Now that you've waxed it you shouldn't get any more problems with it bonding to yer paint.

Blimey - that IS a bargain ! Sorry for the delay Fidgits, it's just that I still live in prehistoric times (I don't have a PC at home) and can only get to a computer in work time. What's the JZX Toyota Chaser and the Porsche Speedster ?? Two cars I've never heard off.

In your defence though ScarFace, you did do the test at 5.25 this morning, so you probably got alot more than I would have that time in the morning. I can't remember the last time I seen 5.25 in the morning

I bet you wish you never started this

gun

An Adolf Hitler - Taking two shots in a bunker An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect A Rodney King - Over Clubbed An O J Simpson - somehow got away with it A Condom - safe but didn't feel good A Sister-in-law - you're up there, but you know you shouldn't be A Kathy Freeman - its ugly but its still running A Kate Moss - a bit thin Taking a Gerry Adams - Hitting a Provisional Ball A Nipple Licker - a shot that opens up the hole A Diego Maradona - a very nasty little five footer A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't A Ladyboy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems Putting like a Gynaecologists assistant - Shaving the hole

Erm...not that I'm aware of. But my memory is a bit on the shabby side today so you're probably right. :D

A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were: 4th Place. "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, She would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.' After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter." 3rd Place. It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents, the relo's as well as my friends, Were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no-one in my family has planned any surprise parties. 2nd Place. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax supersize". Then it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', a guy, his voice booming Over the same public address system: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you belt in with a hammer?" 1st Place And the winner is . . This happened at a major Australian University During a biology lecture a professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?" The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding some statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another word, walked out of the class - As she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."