Thursday Chuckle...

[Tony9r]

Proud to be British!

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for

a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or

a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch

American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? - Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house

Faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the

Way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while

healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain ...! do people order double cheeseburgers,

Large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain

The pens to the counters.

Only in Britain .... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds

On the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen

Calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we

didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a

skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v Battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of

screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while

the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas

decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling

accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled

Out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with

A Lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years

After opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control

Scalextric cars.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the

toilet.

[Monster-Mat]

makes you proud to be British....

[winnie]

LOL....Go on admit it we've all done some of those things :D

[lexus boy]

I've done the btatery on tongue :)

My mate while we were ****** up in Germany decided it was a good idea to open a bottle like one of the locals could with her teeth.

However she didn't use the bottles that he was using, and pulled out a tooth.

[fatpieman69]

thats great, v funny. many thanks for cheering me up.