Game: Count Down From 1 Million

[Gord]

998,916

[peter026]

998,915

24 hours in a day ...24 beers in a case ...coincidence

[sparkystav]

998,914

[peter026]

998,913

was in the pub yesterday, and i saw Vincent Van Gogh in the corner.

I called him over and asked him if he fancied a drink, to which he replied. 'no thanks, I've got one ear!'.....

[sparkystav]

998,912

[peter026]

999,911

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gives her one.

[P4UL T]

998,910

[peter026]

998,909

What did the Blue Peter presenter say when (s)he was introducing the winner of their 'phone-in' competition?

"Here's one we prepared earlier"!

[sparkystav]

998,908

[P4UL T]

998,907

[peter026]

998,906

Q.) Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for the dinner party??

A.) He was given the cold shoulder!

[P4UL T]

998,905

[peter026]

998,904

went to a cannibal's party last night.

I had a ball.

[Gord]

998,903

[peter026]

998,902

A group of chess players were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

[Gord]

998.901

[peter026]

998,900

I was on the motorway and i saw two packets of crisps and i stopped and said do you want a lift, they said no thanks we are walkers!

[Gord]

998,899

[peter026]

998,898

Q - Why do french people eat snails?

A - Because they dont like fast food

[sparkystav]

998,897

[peter026]

998,896

Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's

"Well you can't say fairer than that then"

[Gord]

998,895

[peter026]

998,894

What is a mixed feeling?

Watching your mother-in-law reverse off the side of a cliff in your brand new car!

[Gord]

998,893

[peter026]

998,892

apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBreast will cost £499 to £599.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.