The European Union Commissioners announced today that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language standard for European communication, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.
In the first year, "s" will repalce the soft "c", Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. Also , the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion but keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "Z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer ze unecesary "o" or "u" can be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis, and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru. :bounce: