Claire G

1. What do you call a Chav in a box? Innit. 2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted. 3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe. 4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav? Innuinnit. 5. Why are Chav's like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs. 6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride. 7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike. 8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick and hairy; the other's a coconut. 9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? "What you lookin' at?" 10. How do you get 100 Chav's into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it. 11. Two Chav's in a car without any music. Who's driving? The police. 12. Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out? Up the arse. 13. A Chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the counter and says "Hi, I'm looking for a job"... The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year ". The Chav says, "You're having me on!" The man behind the counter says, "Well you started it!"

Bumpety Bump

Passed 1st time! <does a little jig in honour of women drivers>

Bump. Sorry, didn't know about the Manchester meet when I booked this. Hope perhaps some of our Southern members can make it.

You can borrow mine!!!!! Why don't you come along anyway?

Err, please don't look too closely at my alloys. 'Twasn't my fault honest

Me Mr G Kieran Katie :D

Lexus Owners Club Family Meet We're pleased to announce a family meet for LOC members at the Cotswold Wildlife Park on Sunday 18th September. The Cotswold Wildlife Park will set aside a dedicated area for LOC and if the weather is nice, bring a picnic! Please post below if you would like to come, and names of people you will be bringing with you. If we get more than 20 people signed-up, we will benefit from discounted entrance prices as below (this will need to be pre-payed via PayPal or cheque) Prices: £5 seniors (£6.50 otherwise) £7 adult (group booking, £8.50 otherwise) £4.50 kids (£6 otherwise) Under 3's go free The Narrow-gauge Railway will be running to take you on an interesting trip around the Park. Train rides cost 50p per child and £1.00 per adult More info on the park can be found here - http://www.cotswoldwildlifepark.co.uk Everyone is welcome to this meet, kids or not. It's an ideal opportunity to bring the kids and partner, (or escape and come on your own!) and relax with other members of LOC! Edit - From 11.30am Please sign-up below :)

Cheeky sods! I'm down to Devon this weekend, I'll send back any reports of mad women trying to race :P

Thanks ever so much for all of this sound advice, I'm passing it all on. Appreciate your help.

Happy Birthday to Habeeb. 23, you young pup! :hocus-pokus:

I belong to another forum and one of the women there is having a helluva time of it at the moment. Basically her neighbour attacked her daughter and they don't know what they can do about it as the neighbour is threatening to bring counter charges. Below is her story, just wondered if anyone has some solid advice as to what she should do and if the daughter is likely to be prosecuted if they do decide to press charges. Any help/advice greatly appreciated. ______________________________________________ i went to visit family in brummyland on sunday ''for a week'' my kids chose to stay at home, son 17 daughter 18 so no prob... or at least i thought well teens being teens. they had few mates round.. four to be precise the guy who lives in a flat below us came and asked my daughter to keep noise down.. well he actually walked straight into our place... he then said if she didnt he would hit her to which her reply was '' you cant do that'' he promptly punched her four times in the face! luckily she managed to push him out the door ... but scratched him on his chest to when the police came he told them that if my daughter pressed charges he would too.. and she would be arrested too.. so basically he got away with punching her although the police have said they will issue a warning to him this morning his daughter invited herself in.. called my daughter all the names under the sun and said shes gonna kill her when she sees her outside she also tipped the contents of our wheelie bin in my hallway and over the doorstep.. the police reckon they cant do anything about her!! i came home today as soon as i could and my daughters face is a mess.. i cry every time i look at her!!

Brilliant, this'll be useful...the AA closed their site down

Well said Tony. All this aggression must be scaring people off. We either need more women on here to help dilute all the testosterone, or anyone showing any OTT aggro should be made to drive a Citroen 2CV until it wears off ! :P :D

Blimey, with no reserve I bet they go for a good price!

Happy Birthday - have a good'un!

Happy Birthday mate, have fun!

Stick flys to the wheel arches?! That might get rid of them!!!

Can I just clarify for anyone wondering why I'm here and not on MaxPower-type forums, the airscoop is down to camera trickery I love the car pure and unadulterated (just like me :P )

Perhaps we could get discount for a Group Buy Brettster!

Hiya. I found ScratchX to be really good at removing swirl marks and minor scratches. I didn't employ any particular techniques to apply it, just used a terry towling cloth which seemed to help do the trick.

Back early last year I couldn't get on under my username or any other for about 3 months - had to get IT at work to sort it out for me in the end

I don't mind the music he promotes/plays but as long as the guy doesn't open his mouth to speak!

Yeah, must really take a new photo of the car! Especially as I pinched it from the last owner as I couldn't work out how to get photos onto my PC and as my avatar <hangs head in shame> !!

My GS300 Sport passed its MOT today too :D Passed with flying colours which isn't bad for a 6 year old car! PHEW!!!!!