Formula 1

Matthew_McNally · June 12, 2003

It has just been announced that the Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire Pit Crew yesterday. The action followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's Work For the Dole Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Liverpool.

The decision was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Scousers were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high-tech gear.

This was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Ferrari management. As most F1 races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari are seen to now have a massive advantage over every other team.

Ferrari got more than they bargained for, however, during the Scouse Crew's first practice session. Not only were they able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had also resprayed, rebadged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren Team for four dozen cans of Special Brew, a gram of Coke and a quick shufty at Coulthard's bird in the shower.