My Wife Says I Love The Dog More Than Her!

sir john · July 24, 2011

My wife says that i love the dog more than i love her which is ridiculous because i love my Lexus more than i love the dog.

Problem is, the Lexus needs fixing for the MOT.

She drinks more than the Lexus though!

What to do? Fix the Lexus, Walk the dog or go to the pub with the wife?

steve2006 · July 25, 2011

Take the wife and the dog to the pub, leave her alone at the pub with sufficient money for the day, tie the dog up outside the pub with sufficient food, water, shelter and a sign next to it stating "Owner broke, Owners wife drunk in pub, Owner's car broke please donate generously" then return home and fix the car in complete peace and tranquility.If you don't have any cans of beer make sure you get these at the pub before leaving!

It sounda a very familiar senario as I have apparently spent "too much time" looking on the internet for a replacement Lexus, then spent too much time travelling the midlands looking at them when the garden is an absolute disgrace and the grass needs cutting. Personally I think she's fiddled with the clocking in machine in the hallway.

.I thought about scrapping the Celsior and fitting the engine into a lawnmower combined with a rotavator and buying a local bus timetable.

I also chamfered the handle of the sweeping brush so it would fit up my a**e more comfortably when "multitasking"

ACLex · July 25, 2011

Take the wife and the dog to the pub, leave her alone at the pub with sufficient money for the day, tie the dog up outside the pub with sufficient food, water, shelter and a sign next to it stating "Owner broke, Owners wife drunk in pub, Owner's car broke please donate generously" then return home and fix the car in complete peace and tranquility.If you don't have any cans of beer make sure you get these at the pub before leaving!

It sounda a very familiar senario as I have apparently spent "too much time" looking on the internet for a replacement Lexus, then spent too much time travelling the midlands looking at them when the garden is an absolute disgrace and the grass needs cutting. Personally I think she's fiddled with the clocking in machine in the hallway.

.I thought about scrapping the Celsior and fitting the engine into a lawnmower combined with a rotavator and buying a local bus timetable.

I also chamfered the handle of the sweeping brush so it would fit up my a**e more comfortably when "multitasking"

:P B) :lol: ................PMSL

Andy

Bluesman · July 25, 2011

Take the wife and the dog to the pub, leave her alone at the pub with sufficient money for the day, tie the dog up outside the pub with sufficient food, water, shelter and a sign next to it stating "Owner broke, Owners wife drunk in pub, Owner's car broke please donate generously" then return home and fix the car in complete peace and tranquility.If you don't have any cans of beer make sure you get these at the pub before leaving!

It sounda a very familiar senario as I have apparently spent "too much time" looking on the internet for a replacement Lexus, then spent too much time travelling the midlands looking at them when the garden is an absolute disgrace and the grass needs cutting. Personally I think she's fiddled with the clocking in machine in the hallway.

.I thought about scrapping the Celsior and fitting the engine into a lawnmower combined with a rotavator and buying a local bus timetable.

I also chamfered the handle of the sweeping brush so it would fit up my a**e more comfortably when "multitasking"

Absolutely brilliant.

Its so nice to meet someone else who has to clock in and out of his own house.

Mike

sir john · July 28, 2011

Take the wife and the dog to the pub, leave her alone at the pub with sufficient money for the day, tie the dog up outside the pub with sufficient food, water, shelter and a sign next to it stating "Owner broke, Owners wife drunk in pub, Owner's car broke please donate generously" then return home and fix the car in complete peace and tranquility.If you don't have any cans of beer make sure you get these at the pub before leaving!

It sounda a very familiar senario as I have apparently spent "too much time" looking on the internet for a replacement Lexus, then spent too much time travelling the midlands looking at them when the garden is an absolute disgrace and the grass needs cutting. Personally I think she's fiddled with the clocking in machine in the hallway.

.I thought about scrapping the Celsior and fitting the engine into a lawnmower combined with a rotavator and buying a local bus timetable.

I also chamfered the handle of the sweeping brush so it would fit up my a**e more comfortably when "multitasking"

Nice one Steve. Brilliant but for one flaw; i have never had enough money to leave my wife in a pub all day unsupervised.