Essex Girls

[Purvesh]

Don't know if these have been done, but I thought I'd put them up anyway.. :D

> An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.

> "How many children?" asks the council worker.

> "10" replies the Essex girl

> "10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"

> "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and

> Wayne"

> "Doesn't that get confusing?"

> "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out

> playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S

> READY,

> or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."

> "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the

>perturbed

> council worker.

> "That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames"

>

>

> An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a

>garment

> on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my

> dress." she says.

> "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

> "No" she replies.

> "This time it's mayonnaise."

> An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and

> bleeding.

> The paramedics soon arrive on site.

> Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some

> questions?"

> Girl: "OK"

> Medic: "What's your name?"

> Girl: "Sharon."

> Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"

> Sharon: "Yes."

> Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

> Sharon: "Romford, mate."

>

> Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood

> everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car

> till she's lying flat out on the floor.

> Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."

> Sharon: "Ok."

> Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"

> Sharon: "Oh my *** I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

>

>

> An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl

> notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.

> She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz

> one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"

> So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and

>replies,

> "Well,oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is

>for me roight foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot"

> "Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers

>'ave got C&A on them.

[T7RY B]

Difference between an Essex girl and an Essex guy ?

Essex girl has the higher sperm count.

[Rodders_UK]

Whats the difference between an Essex gir5l and a washing machine

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for a month

[MrADeveci]

Nothing wrong with Essex Girls .................. :D

[Kazi]

Ha ha! There good'ens! Sounds like the class around my area! No classy talent here folks!

[MrADeveci]

Ha ha! There good'ens! Sounds like the class around my area! No classy talent here folks!

←

Plenty of class ...... over @ Gold .......

[Drummerboy]

> An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl

> notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.

> She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz

> one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"

> So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and

>replies,

> "Well,oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is

>for me roight foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot"

As an Irishman I take offence to that joke !!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO SELF RESPECTING IRISHMAN DRINKS GLASSES OF GUINNESS!

WE DRINK PINTS!!!!!!! :P :P :P

[Drummerboy]

What do Essex girls use for protection when having s*x?

A Bus Shelter!

[Kazi]

Ha ha! There good'ens! Sounds like the class around my area! No classy talent here folks!

←

Plenty of class ...... over @ Gold .......

←

Oh, of course I was just being sarky!! :P

[Rillo]

How can you tell an Essex girl has had an orgasm??

She drops her chips :D

[lexus boy]

What does an essex girl do after s*x?

Open the car door

[Mr Morse]

Why do Essex girls wear big hoop earrings?

Somewhere to hang their heels while they're getting shagged

[Tony-Bones]

How much does an Essex girl pay for shampoo?

"Pan ten"

[Adie]

Why do Essex girls wear knickers?

To keep their ankles warm :P

[Tony-Bones]

Anyone here from Essex if yes throw a few in about "London girls"