Game: Count Down From 1 Million

[T7RY B]

998,866

Guy has his haircut. The hairdresser holds the mirror up for him to see and says to him," would you like anything on your hair Sir?"

The guy say's "A pair of knickers! Youv'e made me look a right TW*T"

[MrADeveci]

998,865

[Gord]

998,864

[sparkystav]

998,863

[Einstein]

998,862

3 words a woman thinks on her wedding day.. Aisle, Alter, Hymm

[peter026]

998,861

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,

"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".

[sparkystav]

998,860

[Gord]

998,859

[peter026]

998,858

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

[Gord]

998,857

[peter026]

989,856

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instruction The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

[Gord]

998,855

[Ian M]

998,854

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T).

We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle. Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in the Departmental Employee Evaluation Programme (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T)

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).

[sparkystav]

998,853

[P4UL T]

998,852

[sparkystav]

998,851

[Gord]

998,850

[AlexL]

998,849

[aztecbandit1]

998,848

[Gord]

998,847

[Unregistered_User]

998,846

[Gord]

998,845

[Einstein]

998,844

[sparkystav]

998,843

[peter026]

998,842

I would not say he ( David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.

Ron Atkinson