I need a shotgun

[Mincey]

When I find the pigeon which did this, it's going to regret what it did mark my words....

[cdmaskell]

Quite outrageous James!  Surely there is a No fly zone around Betsy.  I’m sure you now how to remove it safely. Take a deep slow breath and keep that blood pressure down.  All the best.

[DavidCM]

I suggest you administer a lead suppository...to the pigeon.

[GMB]

I would get a piece of damp toilet paper and ......... Oh but it will be miles away by now!😶

[Spock66]

Probably a Seagull rather than a Pigeon, they seem the worst culprits.

[GMB]

Looks more like an Ostrich to me

[Dippo]

It's that guy atticus. He said in another thread that he'd "put down a deposit on an ES300".

[LenT]

39 minutes ago, GMB said:

Looks more like an Ostrich to me

It would have to be exceptionally tall.

They can’t fly!

[Illogan]

It's probably been left by a Squab that's been orphaned, and now suffering post-parental shock.

The old saying explains:  "Every good turd, deserves a mother"

[Spock66]

A colleague of mine was staying at a smart country hotel, found the bonnet of his car was all scratched up, asked the reception about it.

Apparently one of the Peacocks had messed all over it and the staff had tried cleaning it up but ended up scratching all the paintwork. 

[GMB]

3 hours ago, LenT said:

It would have to be exceptionally tall.

They can’t fly!

I know - Doh!...... but they can run very fast and jump very high and have large bottoms.

[steve2006]

As soon as pigeons started using laser targeting guidance I knew there would be consequences with open bomb doors 😀

[LenT]

11 hours ago, Mincey said:

When I find the pigeon which did this, it's going to regret what it did mark my words....

Look for the special celebratory dance….
 

 

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=catch the pigeon gif&tbm=isch&hl=en-gb&tbs=rimg:CXY-s3W5oBcBYUjkLDMNzx7psgIOCgIIABAAOgQIARAAQAHAAgA&client=safari&cs=1&prmd=ivsn&sa=X&ved=0CCwQuIIBahcKEwiw57-n6Mj-AhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQLg&biw=768&bih=895#imgrc=joQD_K51HYc_iM&lnspr=W10=

 

[Rabbers]

Be thankful it only hit the side when it was probably aiming for the middle. 

[Mincey]

15 hours ago, cdmaskell said:

Quite outrageous James!  Surely there is a No fly zone around Betsy.  I’m sure you now how to remove it safely. Take a deep slow breath and keep that blood pressure down.  All the best.

My can of 2008 vintage Supagard poo remover previously used in a similar incident here

 is almost empty now! It took two large applications and two buckets of hot water to get Betsy back to her shiny self.

[Mincey]

14 hours ago, Spock66 said:

Probably a Seagull rather than a Pigeon, they seem the worst culprits.

I did wonder if I was maligning the local Pigeon population but Betsy has to park under a tree (shortly to be felled I might add) so it would have been a good shot if it was a seagull.

[Mincey]

24 minutes ago, Rabbers said:

Be thankful it only hit the side when it was probably aiming for the middle. 

Good point - I can only just reach the middle of the roof when giving her a wash.

[HotSpur-Lexus]

Dirty Betsy ... reminds me of my last girlfriend 🙂

 

 

[Brian R]

2 hours ago, HotSpur-Lexus said:

Dirty Betsy ... reminds me of my last girlfriend 🙂

 

 

Who was that, Amber Heard?

[Linas.P]

21 hours ago, Mincey said:

When I find the pigeon which did this, it's going to regret what it did mark my words....

Are you sure it wasn't a flying cow? 

[Mincey]

11 minutes ago, Linas.P said:

Are you sure it wasn't a flying cow? 

You may have a point there, given the effort it took to get it off!

[dutchie01]

James, in another thread Rabbers is complaining about cats on his bonnet. Maybe an idea to contact him could be the solution?

[Rabbers]

18 hours ago, dutchie01 said:

James, in another thread Rabbers is complaining about cats on his bonnet. Maybe an idea to contact him could be the solution?

Unless cat-prints and bird poop are a joint presence on my paintwork, in which case they get equal shares of my hatred, I consider the latter to be the greater evil, largely because it is a potential health hazard.  Therefore, when muttering to myself during cleaning operations, I seek comfort - scant as it might be - in the thought that birds luckily seem to target cars (and statues) much more frequently than they do us.

[Mincey]

I believe that one or more local pigeons has put a fatwa on Betsy:

[LenT]

19 minutes ago, Mincey said:

I believe that one or more local pigeons has put a fatwa on Betsy:

It certainly can’t be described as a lean wa, James.

Is it even gluten free, I wonder?

BTW - is Betsy protected by a ceramic coating?