I Don't Believe it ....

[Monster-Mat]

heheheheh... :D

Was a well known quote.......

place your well known quotes in this thread

[djanderso]

"There is no I in team, but if you look closely you can see a me" - David Brent!

:D

[ColinBarber]

"MY AR$E" - Jim Royle, The Royle Family

[TURNER]

I'LL BE BACK !!!!!!!!!! ARNOLD BLACK & DECKER

[rhaines]

Boom Boooommmm - Basil Brush

Meep Meep - Roadrunner

What's up Doc - Bugs Bunny

[TonyGoose]

Make it so .....

[Zaphod]

I come in peace - Take me to your Lizard -- Douglas Adams.

If you don't eat you don't sh*t, and if you don't sh*t you'll die -- My Dad.

[james2210]

Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a more pleasant form of misery.

Spike Milligan RIP

[Monster-Mat]

"...............i love the smell of napalm in the mornings"

[DaveEllen]

I didnt get where I am by........... CJ off Reggie Perrin

[UKPulse]

MURPHY'S LAW:

If anything can go wrong, it will.

Murphy's 1st Corollary:

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's 2nd Corollary:

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Murphy's Constant:

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law:

Everything goes wrong all at once.

[TonyGoose]

I Don't Believe it ....

And that is why you fail ....

[rhaines]

Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!

I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

[Fidgits]

"Those pants are skin-tight baby, how'd you get into them"

"You can start by buying me a drink"

[Zee007]

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos....than you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Plagiarism saves time.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

Succeed in spite of management.

[Fidgits]

Thats great Zee...

[rhaines]

I gotta say something about that guy up there, and I can sum it all up in just one word: courage, dedication, daring, pride, pluck, spirit, grit, metal, and G-U-T-S, guts! Why, Ted Striker has got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in out large intestine, including the colon!

[rhaines]

Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his *****, in two weeks you'd have a diamond

[phunt]

If im not back in five minuits..........wait longer

Its not how fast you drive its how you drive fast

[ifraz]

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

This is so true in my workplace

:D

[yemgi]

Not sure for the translation :

My father often tells

Modesty is the key, just name me G.o.d ...

*** is censored so G.o.d dots aren't

[Mitch]

'i got 2 things in this world, my word and my balls and i dont brake them for nobody'

tony montana a.k.a al pacino in the best film ever- SCARFACE

[ifraz]

"my way or no way" ...my dad

[Zaphod]

What did the Romans ever do for us???

If at first you don't succeed - get a larger hammer!

In reply to being asked "How are you"? --- "I can't complain, no-one listens..."

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch!!!

The question you have to ask yourself is... was that five shots or six...

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon... and burnt up on reentry.

When G.O.D. was handing out brains, you thought he said trains and asked for a slow one!!!

You're a long time dead.

May the shwartz be with you...

:D :D

[smw]

David Brent -

“This is the accounts department, the number bods. Do not be fooled by their job descriptions, they are absolutely mad, all of ‘em. Especially that one, he’s mental. Not literally of course, that wouldn’t work.”

“I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first, boss second. Probably entertainer third.”

“I don’t look upon this like it’s the end, I look upon it like it’s moving on you know. It’s almost like my work here’s done. I can’t imagine Jesus going ‘Oh, I’ve told a few people in Bethlehem I’m the son of ***, can I just stay here with Mum and Dad now?’ No. You gotta move on. You gotta spread the word. You gotta go to Nazareth. And that’s, very much like...me. My world does not end within these four walls, Slough’s a big place. And when I’ve finished with Slough, there’s Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, I am my own boss. I can wake up one morning and go ‘Ooh, I don’t feel like working today, can I just stay in bed?’ ‘Ooh, don’t know, better ask the boss.’ ‘David can I stay in bed all day?’ ‘Yes you can David.’ Both me, that’s not me in bed with another bloke called David.”

“People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: “you’re not fooling anyone”, they know I’m rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. That’s the way- not orthodox, I don’t live by “the rules” you know. And if there’s one other person who’s influenced me in that way I think, someone who is a maverick, someone who does that to the system, then, it’s Ian Botham. Because he will happily say “that’s what I think of your selection policy, yes I’ve hit the odd copper, yes I’ve enjoyed the old wacky backy, but will you p**s off and leave me alone, I’m walking to John O’Groats.’’

“How old would you say I was, if you didn’t know me?”

“Forty?”

“No. How old do you think I look?”

“er, thirty-nine?”

“Most people think I look about thirty.”

“Definitely not.”

“Oh, are you calling them liars? What do you think?”

“erm, between thirty and forty?”

“Yes. More honest.”

“Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty... satisfaction. Trust people and they’ll be true to you. Treat them greatly, and they will show themselves to be great.”

“Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don’t know whether you’re in a trough until you’re climbing out, or on a peak until you’re coming down. And you never know what’s round the corner. But it’s all good. ‘If you want the rainbow, you’ve gotta put up with the rain.’ Do you know which ‘philosopher’ said that? Dolly Parton.