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Motorway Madness


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Whats the worst thing you have everseen on the motorway?

Seems everytime i make a trip somewhere some wally is doing something really pathetic in front of me.

I was coming home from london once at 5am in the mornin and was behind this car... The M3 motorway was empty... looked down at the radio for 1 second.. looked up and the car in front was gone.

Seems the person in front was asleep and ended up upside down in a ditch.

I stopped and it was a young women coming home after an adultress night with her boyfriend... seems she was just tired from *cough Cough* the night before.

What is the most craziest thing you have seen on a motorway?

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I just don't understand drivers that don't keep in the left lanes, especially when the roads are clear. The right lane is for OVERTAKING, not hogging. We don't have US-style freeways!

I'll normally hover behind them for a bit, waiting patiently, but they seem to be oblivious to other road users. I never flash my lights, but occassionally indicate right in an attempt to signal to them I'm trying to get past.

In the end they'll force me to undertake, which in itself is an offence, but then again, it's an offence not to stay left. Morons.

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I'll normally hover behind them for a bit, waiting patiently, but they seem to be oblivious to other road users. I never flash my lights, but occassionally indicate right in an attempt to signal to them I'm trying to get past..

You should try flashing your lights, normally works in the outside lane (well unless its a BMW as he knows he has a given right to be there) although it never works in the centre lane, those drivers always just refuse to ever use the left hand lane.

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A t***t with a caravan (no surprise) in the middle lane doing about 70mph in front of me when the 'van starts to shake and twist all over the place - idiot nearly caused a pile up by standing on his brakes.

Edited by Administrator
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I could write a book on this!!!!

You know the nice THIN piece of tarmac between lane 3 and the crash barrier ? Well that seemed a most reasonable place for matey(along with wife & 2 rugrats) to

change his flat tyre!!!!!!!!(M4 westbound j8/9-10) :iraqi-info-minister:

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when i was driving between Hannover and Hamburg a few years ago in my BMW 2.7 M-Tec (Hartge tuned) i was travelling about 150ish mph was obviously in the fast lane, there was a porsche that came up behind me so fast.....and so close i could not even see the bottom of his windscreen...........

now thats a tw*t

everytime i drive in the UK....i see someone being stoopid

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sheesh - where to start?

my current "unbeliveable" issue is the everyday occurence of tiny little rustbag cars tailgating HGVs.

A tiny F reg Fiesta Popular Plus (eg) driving 6 feet behind a HGV.

If the lorry brakes hard - these smaller cars would literally disintegrate.

how stupid have you got to be to do that?

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I know this will probably upset anyone who also drives a HGV, but it annoys me when lorries attempt to overtake each other but one can't go any faster than the other so they just sit there side by side for miles.

the wost thing about this situation Ricky is the knob who is doing 58 mph behind the lorry in the second lane, who couldn't just slow down a touch to stay behind the HGVs.

No - he has to pull into the outside lane at 58 mph to overtake them.

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What about those lovely, considerate peeps who rip up the outside of you while you patiently queue at a 3 lanes into 2, coned-off section, you having already observed the "roadworks in 400yds" sign some, ah hum, 400yds earlier?

Always end up nearly running up the back of someone trying to stop some t**t who so desperately needed to make up 50yds on what was probably a 100 mile journey.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :arrrggg-matey:

Edited by Administrator
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I was coming home from london once at 5am in the mornin and was behind this car... The M3 motorway was empty... looked down at the radio for 1 second.. looked up and the car in front was gone.

tut, tut, don't play with the radio while driving on the motorway!

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What about those lovely, considerate peeps who rip up the outside of you while you patiently queue at a 3 lanes into 2, coned-off section, you having already observed the "roadworks in 400yds" sign some, ah hum, 400yds earlier?

Always end up nearly running up the back of someone trying to stop some tw@t who so desperately needed to make up 50yds on what was probably a 100 mile journey.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :arrrggg-matey:

Saw a very amusing occurance of this a few years ago when the M11 was down to one lane because of a crash. The matrix boards had been tell you to get across for about five miles and then the last few were showning red xs on the overheads in middle and outside. But there were still **** in the outside lane ! The Old Bill had obviously had enough too because they were nicking every single one of them, there were about 10 cars lined up being bollocked (mostly from Bavaria) !!!

profanity removed

Edited by Matthew_McNally
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What about those lovely, considerate peeps who rip up the outside of you while you patiently queue at a 3 lanes into 2, coned-off section, you having already observed the "roadworks in 400yds" sign some, ah hum, 400yds earlier?

Always end up nearly running up the back of someone trying to stop some tw@t who so desperately needed to make up 50yds on what was probably a 100 mile journey.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I know it's trendy to blame BMW drivers for tricks like this but when I've seen it done a large portion really are BMWs.

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What about those lovely, considerate peeps who rip up the outside of you while you patiently queue at a 3 lanes into 2, coned-off section, you having already observed the "roadworks in 400yds" sign some, ah hum, 400yds earlier?

Always end up nearly running up the back of someone trying to stop some tw@t who so desperately needed to make up 50yds on what was probably a 100 mile journey.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :arrrggg-matey:

Isn't this called "zip merging" and isn't it in the highway code?

(I don't do it, or condone it - it winds me up too, but I'm sure it's in there)

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What about those lovely, considerate peeps who rip up the outside of you while you patiently queue at a 3 lanes into 2, coned-off section, you having already observed the "roadworks in 400yds" sign some, ah hum, 400yds earlier?

Always end up nearly running up the back of someone trying to stop some tw@t who so desperately needed to make up 50yds on what was probably a 100 mile journey.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :arrrggg-matey:

Isn't this called "zip merging" and isn't it in the highway code?

(I don't do it, or condone it - it winds me up too, but I'm sure it's in there)

I do it all the time.

here's an interesting concept, why don't we all

a - drive using all the road available

b - drop the "I've been queuing longer than him - so I'm not letting him in" attitude

this way - we might slightly reduce the amount of congestion that these sort of obstacles cause.

Instead, everyone in this country sees a sign that says a lane is closing a mile away, and instantly jumps out of that lane, and assumes the "Right - no ***** is getting in front of me" attitude.

Sorry folks - but I think it is the current attitude that is wrong.

This sort of zip merging is the only way to go - and I am gonna keep on doing it.

If we all did it - things might actually get better.

The current way doesn't work - does it?

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But that's the problem, isn't it - a Catch 22 situation.

Until we ALL do it - by it being included in the Highway Code and it being publicised to the hilt, and whatever other means available, not many people will do it from choice and will remain frustrated.

I don't like doing it because it DOES wind people up, and I don't want an angry driver to do something stupid. Maybe because you're a bloke, Matt, in a big car you don't feel as intimidated.

(We have a small stretch of road here - Elland bypass - where it IS suggested with boards at the side of the road - you know "Merge in 200 yards" and "Merge now" which I do - but you still get the person who will let you in over his dead body.)

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I have seen a couple of times now where the outside lane closes and merges, the car/van in the lane that is closing, stay in the outside lane and slow down to the speed of the middle lane, at the point where the signs say lanes closes in xx yards, including just stopping and waiting, and not letting anyone past.

Quite amusing to watch but it takes some bottle to do it,

I like the Zip merging idea and it should be accepted and publicised by highway code,

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I have seen a couple of times now where the outside lane closes and merges, the car/van in the lane that is closing, stay in the outside lane and slow down to the speed of the middle lane, at the point where the signs say lanes closes in xx yards, including just stopping and waiting, and not letting anyone past.

and who put him in charge of the road?

this sort of thing is only likely to lead to more road rage incidents.

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and who put him in charge of the road?

Probably the same person who put the middle lane drivers in charge of the middle lane, and the driver who stays in the outside lane doing 70, because it is the speed limit and you shouldn't be overtaking them.

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