Do Not Sell My Personal Information Jump to content


  • Join The Club

    Join the Lexus Owners Club and be part of the Community. It's FREE!

     

My Mum Has Died


Tony-Bones
 Share

Recommended Posts

My mum, Carol Ann Bones died at the no age of 65 thanks to cancer.... In truth i'm all cried out now but this does highlight why i'm so passionate to support cancer research, so that your mum, dad or whoever doesn't go through the same pain as my mum.

This thread> http://www.lexusownersclub.co.uk/forum/ind...t=0&start=0 was opened by Bazza bless him, forcing my wife and myself a day off, as some may know i'm never off.

As this thread expanded i watched in disbelief how fast members paid for us to be at the xmas bash, i'm truly humbled by this.......

The point of this post is that the surplus money donated goes to cancer research and although this won't help mum, it might help another mum or dad or whoever, so please make that pledge.

Here are my words in wim-forum yesterday, it just sums up the reality of this silent killer we call cancer.

...............................................

Thank you for you best wishes...... It's odd why anyone would post such a statement like "my mum's dead" but in the visible world it just helps to shout out loud and have friends shout back with words of comfort...

Despite the warm wings of friendship i have never felt so sad, this truly is the worst day of my life. I didn't have the courage to stay with mum as she died but today i did stay with her in the chapel and talk about our past, her pain and the future, through the tears this really helped me to gain closure.

Cancer really is a dirty word, my mother didn't die, she was murdered by this poxy, indiscriminate time release bullet that slowly dissects it's victim of life, am i angry, yes, can i do anything to help? no, and that's what hurt the most.

The true hero's here are..

St Francis Hospice Berkhamsted Hertfordshire

Mcmillan nurses home support

My wife and children

you

..............................................................

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 79
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Really gutted for you mate, I knew your mum was very ill. Knowing that a loved ones days are numbered does not make it any easier when they go.

As you know Cancer Research and McMillan Nurses are charities that are close to my heart too for personal reasons. The McMillan nurses are such special people, the way that they deal, day in day out, and always with great care and compassion.

Thoughts are with you and your family.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My thoughts are with you and your family Tony.

Cancer is something that lots of organisations are working on to research and develop new treatments and cures. I certainly believe that money donated to such causes is very worthwhile, I think we all know people whose lives have been touched by cancer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

St Francis Hospice Berkhamsted Hertfordshire is 100% supported by charity, it's a stepping stone with a guiding hand..... I'm crying as i type!!!

I don't know what to expect from this thread or even to answer but i do know we need to irradicate cancer so that others don't suffer the same pain.

Prevention is the best way forward..... the hospice and so on deal with the fall out not the cause, i want to prevent the cause.

Maybe i should log off?..... i'm so desperately sad i don't know what to do......

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Keep talking Tony, as and when YOU feel like it. Blurt everything out. You are among friends here.

Take care mate. I'm so sorry.

"You are among friends here" i know that's why i exposed my inner most feelings at the worst time in my life.

I will stay focused for cancer research but......... I'm so, so sad now Geoffers, for weeks i have told mum all will be ok and the hospice is just a rest for her and us.... and i lied all the way.

I have never lied to my mum until then...... In the chapel of rest i apologized and explained myself, i hope she understood i was just protecting her from the fear of dieing.

Sitting next to and holding the hand of your mother opens areas of your mind you didn't know existed.... through my tears i asked "what" am i really looking for?...... sympathy, well yes i suppose, but i have a proven desire to combat cancer despite current events.

She was only 65.... and murdered by cancer.... It's not fair...... I'm so sorry for her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tony, if you feel a strong need to try and help others avoid the pain that you're suffering, then you could perhaps try and divert your current feelings towards thinking of ideas to raise money for research, e.g. some sort of sponsored car-based event to raise money for cancer research ?

I do hope this doesn't sound insensitive, I'm not trying to say you should be feeling any differently from how you do. Just that it might help you in some way to help others for the future ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You and your family are in my thoughts Tony as I know how your feeling as my Mum past away in the same way,and I'm telling you it more courage not to stay with your Mum at the end than it would to have stayed,I know as I stayed with my mum til the end and sort of wished I hadn't because at the end it wasn't my mum,and I wish the last time I saw her wasn't that one,so even though it doesn't feel like it now you did make the right decision.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


You and your family are in my thoughts Tony as I know how your feeling as my Mum past away in the same way,and I'm telling you it more courage not to stay with your Mum at the end than it would to have stayed,I know as I stayed with my mum til the end and sort of wished I hadn't because at the end it wasn't my mum,and I wish the last time I saw her wasn't that one,so even though it doesn't feel like it now you did make the right decision.

I couldn't be with her during the dieing moments for that very reason.... the image would stay with me forever and i couldn't cope with that.

My wife and daughter stayed with her and i salute their strength and thank them for that... do i regret not being there.... no!

Oh peeps reading this thread what do you do.... there's no manual on how to react to a family member dieing, your on your own, do you hide or scream or whatever?...... it's just horrible.....horrible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"You are among friends here" i know that's why i exposed my inner most feelings at the worst time in my life.

I will stay focused for cancer research but......... I'm so, so sad now Geoffers, for weeks i have told mum all will be ok and the hospice is just a rest for her and us.... and i lied all the way.

I have never lied to my mum until then...... In the chapel of rest i apologized and explained myself, i hope she understood i was just protecting her from the fear of dieing.

Sitting next to and holding the hand of your mother opens areas of your mind you didn't know existed.... through my tears i asked "what" am i really looking for?...... sympathy, well yes i suppose, but i have a proven desire to combat cancer despite current events.

She was only 65.... and murdered by cancer.... It's not fair...... I'm so sorry for her.

You know at some point in our lives we are all liars. It is the intention behind the lie that matters. You eased your mums fears. You eliviated some of her inner pain. You helped her.

Don't ever feel guilty or regret this Tony. You did the right thing. Regardless of what people say, lying can be for the good. In this case for instance, or to prevent a violent situation happening - there are loads of reasons. Telling the truth can be so destructive in some cases that you have to put your own principles/honour to one side and make the exception.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Yes, you need sympathy. Yes you will feel anger and every emotion you can think of. Don't feel selfish. Don't feel you should be ok - just let it flow. Its ALL OK to feel these things Tony, however crazy these emotions come out as. Shout, scream, whatever you want mate - we are all here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tony, you will be feeling that you will never get rid of the pain and sadness your in at this truely sad time, you will mate, with the help and support of your family and friends, things DO become a bit easier.

I know the old cliche "times a great healer" doesn't sound true at this moment, but they will.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

RIP Mrs Bones

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Although we have never met I am really sorry for your loss.

All I can say is it will over time get better. My wife lost her dad to cancer about 15 years ago. She now speaks very openly and fondly of him. Even our kids who never met him talk fondly about their Grandad.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tony me and my family are truly sorry to hear about your sad loss

The macmillan nurses are wonderful people, From experience as me and my family went through the sadness

and loss of my father in law almost 2years ago with cancer

If myself and my family can help in anyway,please do not hesitate to contact us

Thinking of you

neil and family

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Latest Deals

Lexus Official Store for genuine Lexus parts & accessories

Disclaimer: As the club is an eBay Partner, The club may be compensated if you make a purchase via eBay links

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share







Lexus Owners Club Powered by Invision Community


eBay Disclosure: As the club is an eBay Partner, the club may earn commision if you make a purchase via the clubs eBay links.

DISCLAIMER: Lexusownersclub.co.uk is an independent Lexus forum for owners of Lexus vehicles. The club is not part of Lexus UK nor affiliated with or endorsed by Lexus UK in any way. The material contained in the forums is submitted by the general public and is NOT endorsed by Lexus Owners Club, ACI LTD, Lexus UK or Toyota Motor Corporation. The official Lexus website can be found at http://www.lexus.co.uk
×
  • Create New...